Recently I was honored when legendary NFL quarterback Brett Favre, formerly of the Green Bay Packers and New York Jets and now with the Minnesota Vikings, asked me if he could use my site to send a message to his fans.  Naturally, as a serious journalist I was happy to oblige.  Take it away Brett:

Thank you Manhattan Infidel for giving me this opportunity to reach out to my fans.  During the course of my almost 20-year career in the NFL I have often thought of how blessed I am.  Blessed to have athletic talent, blessed with a wife, children and grandchildren, and blessed with so many fans.  As I near the end of my career I would like to give back to those fans and give them the benefits of the wisdom I have gained from my many years in the public eye.  So I now present to you simple to follow rules I have learned on how to get the woman of your dreams:

Rule no. 1:  Women like to feel important.  When  pursuing a woman you must understand you have competition from  other men.  One way to get to the head of the pack is to personalize things.  I find giving a woman a nickname can be very endearing to them.  For example, a few years ago while playing for the Jets I saw a sideline reporter who caught my attention.  I wanted to introduce myself so I started calling her “Hey you on the sidelines. No not you.  The other one.  Yeah, you.  You have a nice rack honey. Would you like to see a picture of my penis?” This became my pet nickname for her.  I think it worked.  She responded by calling me a “Disgusting dirty old man.”  I think that was her pet nickname for me.

Rule no. 2:  Women love a man of intellect.  This must not be underestimated.  I have often found that a woman who at first shows no interest in you will warm to you if you can impress her with how intelligent and intellectual you are.  One thing I’ve done in the past is to approach a woman while wearing glasses, smoking a pipe and reading a copy of Einstein’s General Theory of Relativity.  This will intrigue her.  To close the deal I casually take the pipe out of my mouth and say to her, “Oh, this book?  It’s just something I’m reading.  It’s Einstein’s theory of relativity in the original German.  What can I say?  I like to keep my mind as taut and rippled as my body.  May I email you a photo of my penis?” Notice I said “May I email you” and not “Let me sent you a photo.”  This is an important distinction. Women appreciate good manners.

Rule no. 3:  Go retro! There is no poking a woman on Facebook for me. I find that very impersonal.  Even email and texts can be impersonal at times. That’s why I always carry with me several 8″ by 10″ color glossies of my penis.  I’ve found this is way to connect in the here and now.  Instead of a boring text or email I like to look the woman straight in the eyes and say, “I’m Brett Favre, legendary NFL quarterback.  And here is a signed  photo of my penis.  Would you like to go into the alley with me for a quickie?”  It’s all about hands-on personal communication.  Women trust and respect a take charge man who will hand them a photo of their penis and wants to meet in an alley.

And that’s about it.  Just follow these rules and you will meet the woman of your dreams.  Because there is nothing more I want than the happiness of my fans.  Trust me.  I’m Brett Favre.  And this is my junk.

Thank you Brett and thank you for that information.  I’m sure my readers will find it valuable.

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