Yogi Bear Shot, Killed by Rangers

Yogi Bear was a pest to humansYogi Bear, a notoriously mean bear in Jellystone National Park was shot and killed by rangers after it was had killed and eaten park employee Ranger John Smith.

Yogi Bear was a bear that park employees kept close tabs on.

“He was dangerous around humans” said one. “He would always approach picnickers and try to steal their food.  This obviously frightened a lot of them.  Business was down because of this.” 

Over the years in an attempt to foil Yogi Bear and his younger companion Boo Boo Bear special “bear-proof” garbage receptacles were placed throughout the park.

“We were hoping by doing this he would get the point and stop coming around and frightening the campers.”

However an unintended side effect of this is that Yogi, who was getting on in years was not able to compete with younger bears in his search for food.  Rangers at the park noted that when spotted recently he looked “mangy, mean and very hungry.”

On the day of the shooting Ranger John Smith ranger John Smith, dedicated park employee and bear food  had phoned saying that Yogi Bear was outside his cabin and “acting aggressively.”  Shortly after the call contact was lost with Ranger Smith.

Park employees in a small plane flew over Ranger Smith’s cabin.  They found Yogi Bear and Boo Boo feeding on what appeared to be a human ribcage.  Repeated buzzing of the location failed to dislodge the two bears who proceeded to eat the remains faster.

Park Rangers landed their plane a mile away and approached heavily armed on foot.  Once at the cabin they found a pile of fresh earth.  Upon removing the pile they found what was left of Ranger Smith – his head connected to a small piece of spine with a “frozen grimace” on his face.  An arm and several fingers were lying nearby.

Before they had a chance to recover the remains Yogi and Boo Boo appeared on the trail 100 feet from them.

“They knew we were there and they were heading straight towards us.”

Rangers grabbed their guns and aimed at the two bears shooting them several times.  They then approached the bears to ascertain that they were in fact dead.

“These were just mean bears” said one ranger.   “Now that they are dead we don’t have to worry about them.”

Park authorities plan a review of procedures when dealing with elderly bears.

“We don’t want this tragedy to happen again.  Ranger Smith was very popular.

In lieu of flowers rangers have asked that donations be made to the American Society for Not Being Eaten by Bears.


2 Responses

  1. innominatus says:

    I don’t go out on dates anymore
    I live a life of danger
    I go out in the woods and play with myself
    Whee! I’m a Ranger!

  2. Karen Howes says:

    I always had my suspicions about Yogi Bear. There were rumors that he had converted to Islam and was hiding in a cave in Jellystone recruiting followers.

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