German Sheperd Invades Poland

Maxie the German Sheperd gives in to his brutal lust for world dominationMaxie a four-year old German Shepard in the  prime of his dog life invaded Poland, wreaking havoc, killing wildlife, destroying farmland and, in violation of all Geneva Convention protocols,  impregnating the local dog population.

Maxie’s invasion of Poland began shortly before 4:40 AM when he entered the town of Weilun.

“We awoke to growling.  I looked out my window and saw a German Sheperd rounding up the villagers.  He had them confined to the village square.  If anyone tried to escape he barked at them” said a terrified villager.

Indeed, Maxie would use his prominent teeth to scare people while in a menacing manner barking at them.

“Woof, woof, woof. It’s all I hear.  I’m scared.  My children are crying.  Is there nothing that will stop the insatiable German lust for world domination?” asked a villager who was bitten by Maxie.

Using his natural traits of self-assurance and aggressiveness Maxie bit and barked his way forward to the town of Lwow along the way digging up farmland, defecating on private property and rounding up local bitches, mounting them in full view of outraged locals.  The Polish underground vowed retaliation.  “We will find the bitches who allowed themselves to become impregnated by this German Sheperd and we will cut out their fetuses.”

The Dogkrieg showed no signs of abetting.  Panicked civilians clogged roads lowering morale among NATO troops.  From Brussels, Belgium NATO Secretary General Anders Fogh Rasmussen declared the organization helpless in the face of the ruthless German advance.

“What can we do?  Our Council is helplessly divided.  Some want to sue for peace.  If only we had an American Dog Shield Defense System!”

Two days after the invasion Maxie had penetrated as far as the Narew River leaving behind shattered lives, scattered garbage, impregnated females and feces.

In New York the UN General Assembly passed a nonbinding resolution calling Maxie a “bad, bad doggie” and requested that he return to his preinvasion territory.

Maxie showed no sign of obeying pushing farther into Poland approaching the Bug River and threatening Warsaw.

Poland looked anxiously to Moscow, hoping they would keep neutral.  Despite Poland’s hopes, many German Sheperds in Russia were seen heading towards the border ready to join up with Maxie.

President Obama issued a statement saying that he is keeping an eye on the situation and trusts that a resolution will be forthcoming.

Maxie is rumored to be entering Warsaw.

“I guess we are on our own” said the leader of the Polish resistance.


2 Responses

  1. The title on this post alone is a riot. I got new digs, btw. Come check ’em out.

    Thank you and I shall! – MI

  2. Matthew says:

    Can’t stop the dogkreig

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