Godzilla Campaigns for the Public Option

Godzilla is angry and wants the Pubic OptionHoping to renew support for the so-called “Public Option”, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) appeared at a rally today along side legendary movie monster Godzilla, a long-time supporter of universal health care.

“I’d like to thank Godzilla for taking time out of his busy schedule be here today” said Pelosi as she introduced Godzilla.

Godzilla then spoke for several minutes about the struggle for the pubic option and how it will actually cut costs.

“Being an independent contractor I cannot afford health insurance.  The public option would mean that  nobody would have to worry about sudden, unexpected, catastrophic medical bills.  Over the years I have been fired upon many many times by the military. When you have an entire brigade shooting automatic weapons at you, not to mention jets firing missiles you are going to get hurt.  It’s a given.  And what happens when I show up at an emergency room?  The first thing they ask me is ‘Do I have insurance?’  The public option would mean that I and people like me would not have to make emergency room visits – visits that the public will ultimately have to pay for.”

As Godzilla spoke he warmed up to his subject.  Literally.  He shot out flames of fire from his mouth which burned several reporters.

“Sorry about that man.  My bad.”

After the fires were put out and reporters (who have health insurance) were taken away in ambulances Godzilla continued.

“Let me finish by saying that the public option would save so much money for me, and the taxpayers of America. And as long as I’m here how about exploring renewable energy?  Walking into a wind farm stings a lot less than walking into high voltage power lines.”

Speaker Pelosi concluded the press conference by again thanking Godzilla for his appearance.

 “Godzilla and I have much in common.  He is a prehistoric mutant feared for his destructive power and I am Speaker of the House.”

Despite Godzilla’s seemingly sincere support of the public option there are rumors concerning his motives.  A report aired on Fox states that Godzilla, who hasn’t had a job in Hollywood since his last movie with Matthew Broderick tanked at the box office is burdened by financial difficulties and is being paid for his appearances.

Godzilla denies this and said in a message on his web site that “Fox can bite me.  Or maybe I should just go over to their studios and breathe fire on someone’s ass.”


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