Address by the President of the Moon to a Joint Session of Moon’s Congress

The President of the Moon addresses a Joint Session of the Moon’s CongressMr Vice President, Mr. Speaker, members of the Senate and of the House of Representatives:

Yesterday, October 9th, 2009 — a date which will live in infamy — the Moon was suddenly and deliberately attacked by the forces of the United States of America.

The Moon was at peace with that nation and indeed tolerated its ‘space junk’ left on our tiny world.

It will be recorded that the distance of the Moon from The United States makes it obvious that the attack was planned many days or even weeks ago.

The attack yesterday on the Moon has caused severe damage to Moon military forces.  I regret to tell you that very many Moon lives have been lost.

The United States has, therefore, undertaken a surprise offensive across the Moon.  The facts of yesterday speak for themselves.  The people of the Moon have already formed their opinions and very well understand the implications to the very life and safety of our world.

As Commander in Chief I have directed that all measures be taken for our defense.  But always will our whole nation remember the character of the onslaught against us.

No matter how long it may take us to overcome this premeditated invasion, the people of the Moon in their righteous might will win through to absolute victory.

I believe that I interpret the will of the Congress and of the people when I assert that we will not only defend ourselves to the uttermost, but will make it certain that this form of treachery shall never again endanger us.

Hostilities exist.  Their is no blinking at the fact that our people, our territory, and our interests are in grave danger.

With confidence in our armed forces, with the unbounding determination of our people, we will gain the inevitable triumph — so help us God.

I ask that the Congress declare that since the unprovoked and dastardly attack by the United States on Friday, October 9th, 2009, a state of war has existed between the Moon and the United States of America.


2 Responses

  1. Dr. Dave says:

    Another waste of $79 million taxpayer money.

    Instead of spending $79 million to bomb the moon the money could have been better used bombing Detroit instead – The Manhattan Infidel

  2. Dragongrrl says:

    Funny! I hipped Michele S. to your blog. She was very amused by the “Nobel Peace Prize awarded to 6,999,999,998 People Not Named George W. Bush” entry, BTW. Keep up the good work!

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