10.  Volume volume volume!

9.  I’ve been looking for a woman to replace my mother for years.

8.  The  home office approves.

7.  Why does Sara Palin ignore me?  I just want her to love me.

6.  To get over the pain of being a bitter old man years past his prime.

5.  Just wanted to see if my natural male enhancement pills are working.

4.  You want to keep your job?  Suck it bitch.

3.  I like to role play.  Tonight I’ll be the cheerleader.

2.  This never happened before…..seriously I’m so embarrassed.

1.  It’s okay.  I’m a liberal.

and as a bonus:  The number 1 reason Stephanie Burkitt  slept with David Letterman:

None of my other bosses would bring me to orgasm.

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