Klingon Warrior Badly Beaten by LAPD

Klingon warrior Worf before his beatingIn what will surely be a blow in ongoing efforts to rehabilitate its image, the LAPD today beat a Klingon warrior unconscious at a traffic stop.

Shortly before 2 PM officers of the LAPD noticed a suspicious Klingon Bird of Prey parked illegally on Sunset Boulevard.  “I ran its license plates and discovered that the vehicle had been stolen.  I approached and asked the occupant to step out of the vehicle and consent to a breathalizer test.  It was then that he called me a ‘t’gla’ whatever that means.  I wasn’t going to take any chance so I grabbed him by his pony tail and knocked him a few upside the ridges on his forehead. The perp went down immediately” according to Officer Moon.

“I then called for backup.  While I was waiting for them to arrive the suspect spat on me and called me a ‘piece of baktag’.  Well I didn’t need any excuse this time – I tasered him.  Look I ain’t apologizing.  He refused a breathalizer, was slurring his words and his face was all messed up.  I thought I was dealing with Mickey Rourke.”

After backup arrived police took turns beating the Klingon who was screaming ‘tohpah…..tohpah’ over and over.

Taken to the hospital the klingon remains in critical but stable condition with bruised kidneys and several lacerations on his forehead ridges.  Speaking from his bedside the victim’s lawyer told reporters “Sadly this is not an isolated case.  Clearly the LAPD has issues with people with pronounced foreheads.  I am asking for a $100 million settlement.”

This new beating comes on the heels of the embarrasing incident when the LAPD beat up Wendy the Snapple Lady, Florence Henderson and Vanilla Ice during a taping of  “MTVs The Surreal Life“.  That case is also headed to court.

Los Angeles Mayor Antonio R. Villaraigosa issued a statement promising to look into the incident while also pledging support for the police.  “Our police put their lives on the line every day and we must give them the benefit of the doubt.  Besides, they thought it was Mickey Rourke.”

From the Klingon Homeworld, the High Council called Californians “A bunch of miserable koruts” and promised to destroy the state as soon as they can arrange transportation off the planet for Mickey Rourke.


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