Meteor Almost Hits Earth; Global Warming Blamed

A Meteor hurls towards EarthA meteor set to collide with Earth veered off course at the last moment and continued towards the Sun.  The meteor, named X-43 by scientists who have been tracking it for months came within a few hundred miles of entering Earth’s atmosphere.

“One of this size could have destroyed thousands of square miles.  If it had hit a populated industrialized area the effect on the world economy could have been devastating” according to Dr. Robert Thomson of NASA.  “Fortunately we took a look at its trajectory and the most likely point of impact was upstate New York.”

There are many theories as to why Earth came so close to destruction but the most popular seems to be global warming.

Al Gore who was traveling to a Green Earth conference at Robert Redford’s Sundance Resort spoke to reporters from his airplane.  “Obviously this meteor almost hit Earth because of  carbon dioxide expelled into the atmosphere by humans.  If only we had passed the Kyoto Protocol!” declared the former Vice President.  When told that there is no evidence that global warming causes meteor showers, Gore said “Did I mention that my plane is painted white.  That way the inside won’t get as hot. I also have the air conditioner set to 70 not 65.  I’m saving the environment as we speak.”

From Chicago talk show host Oprah Winfrey agreed with Gore.  “We have to do something about carbon emissions if we want to save this planet or we will continue to have close calls like this.”  She then surprised her audience with brand new SUVs.

From Hollywood Leonardo DiCaprio and Ed Wood praised President Obama’s leadership during the meteor crisis.  “A righteous wind from DC kept us safe.”

However, not all were happy that the collision did not take place.  As one mayor of a small town near the projected ground zero told reporters “This would have been the most exciting thing to happen in this area since Greg Allman destroyed a hotel room in Oswego in 1981……seriously….nothing much happens up here…..nothing whatsover but snow.  Lots of it.  We’re kind of bored.”

As for meteor X-43 he said “Hey, I’m just crusing through the solar system minding my own business when I see Earth.  She says ‘Come on over.  Maybe we can get together’.  When I got closer I notice that she’s Mother Earth and sorry but I’m not into MILFs.  I want someone a little younger.”

When last seen X-43 was trying to pick up Venus.


Leave a Reply

Using Gravatars in the comments - get your own and be recognized!

XHTML: These are some of the tags you can use: <a href=""> <b> <blockquote> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>