Famous French skunk Pepe Le Pew has been sued.  The plaintiff, Penelope Pussycat filed the lawsuit in District Court today.  The National Organization for Women has filed an amicus curiae brief regarding this case. According to those familiar with the case, Penelope Pussycat had previously filed a restraining order against Le Pew banning him from […]

Today in Federal Court The Grinch filed a lawsuit against the citizens of Whoville, claiming “blatant discrimination, housing segregation, loss of self-esteem and job prospects.” In a 55-page brief The Grinch lays bare his soul and his complaints against the citizens of Whoville.  Page 25, “…..housing discrimination is illegal yet I am relegated to living […]

Local resident Speedy Gonzales, formerly of Mexico, died today from injuries sustained during his shift as a busboy at a popular Italian restaurant.  Sources report that shortly after 11 PM William Devereux, after a night of heavy drinking at a nearby Irish bar walked into the restaurant that Speedy was working at and angrily demanded […]

Amid tight security and flanked by police and private guards, Elmer J. Fudd was led into the U.S. Courthouse in lower Manhattan to answer charges that he defrauded investors of millions in one of the largest Ponzi schemes ever.  As he stood before the judge he was asked his name for the record. “I am […]

His fingers stained from nicotine Tickle Me Elmo clutched a whiskey filled flask.  “I’m tired of this shit.  I’m tired of kids always wanting to tickle me.  I mean, it’s in my contract that if they squeeze me once I have to ‘chortle’….whatever the hell a chortle is.  If they squeeze me three times in […]

In shocking news it was confirmed that Superman has tested positive for controlled substances.  The IBSSAAP (The International Board of Superheroes and Slightly Above Average People), the governing body of all superheroes announced the positive test today. “Naturally we are disappointed at the result.  It taints the otherwise stellar career of one of the most beloved […]

Bacchus, Roman God of wine and intoxication has announced that he is entering rehab.  “After much thought and deliberation I have made the painful decision that it is time to make a change in my life” the statement reads.  “I’m 3000 years old and I just cannot party like I’m 2000 anymore.  I cannot continue […]

Kris Kringle, CEO of SantaCorp today revealed a new pared down, streamlined business model for his struggling company that he hopes will enable him to compete well into the 21st Century.  Gone are many recognizable features of SantaCorp including reindeer, the famous sleigh, Santa’s red suit and personal delivery of presents on Christmas Eve to […]

Notorious crime lord Jabba the Hutt was hospitalized today with what doctors are describing as an “extreme case of osteoporosis.” Doctors are surprised that the 600 year old Hutt has been stricken, as being overweight usually is one factor in not contracting  the disease. “Let’s face it, he’s not svelte” says Dr. Lionel Train of […]