The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland has inducted Jeremy Gelbwaks, best known as the original drummer for the Partridge Family before his controversial firing and replacement by Brian Forster. When making the announcement the Hall of Fame said that Gelbwaks was “an example of the original values of the Partridge Family – […]

After an exhaustive study of the last 200 years of pop culture the 1980s have officially been named the most masturbatory decade in the history of civilization. “There were many reasons to masturbate in the 1980s” according to Nigel St. Crumpett, editor of Hairy Palms magazine.  “We had the usual reasons such as Cindy Crawford […]

The National Organization for Woman has named Hollywood bad boy Charlie Sheen their White Male of Northern European Origin of the Year. Coming off the heels of his recent arrest for menacing, second-degree assault and criminal mischief in the domestic incident with his wife this may come as a surprise. “It shouldn’t surprise anybody” says […]

From Washington today it was announced that Santa Claus, fur-wearing, white male of northern European origin will be denied access to American air space on Christmas Eve. In his weekly radio address, President Obama wished all Americans a “Happy Holiday Season and may the principles of Kwanzaa enlighten all of us.” He then went on […]

In a bizarre press conference today, golf legend Tiger Woods made his first public appearance, acknowledging mistakes and promising that “in the future, I will avail myself of the opportunity to sleep with black woman.” Flanked by Jesse Jackson and Al  Sharpton,  Woods expressed deep shame for his actions. “I have failed.  I have failed […]

Today it was learned that a 20-year old part-time college student from Sheboygan Wisconsin has admitted to not sleeping with embattled golfer Tiger Woods. The 20-year old, who wishes that her real name not be used, admits that she feels “left out” and has written Tiger asking for an assignation. “At first it didn’t bother […]

With the Thanksgiving Holiday past and the Christmas season upon us the annual tradition of celebrity famine singles is in full swing. From his home in Dublin, U2 Frontman Bono said “I remember back in ’86 when me, Bruce, Cyndi, Tina, Lionel and that other guy – no not the drunk from Long Island – […]

When Tiger Woods crashed his car into a tree on his neighbor’s property many fans were shocked.  However, to golf insiders this is only the latest example of their sport’s dark side. “Golf has a reputation as an All-American sport that has avoided many of the scandals that have plagued other sports” says  an insider […]

Oprah Winfrey has announced that in 2011 she will step down from her popular talk show to concentrate on “using my Divine powers to rule the universe and make it bend to my will.” In a press conference attended by various angels and archangels Oprah said it was time for a change. “I’ve been thinking […]

With Thanksgiving yet again upon us millions of  Americans with carbon footprints that are too large will get into fuel-consuming cars and planes to eat slaughtered animals. “This so-called Holiday is not a holiday for native Americans” said Joseph Wheeler, author of the book “Thanksgiving is Bad and I’m Smarter Than You.” “It is a […]