It is only the middle of November, yet the Easter Bunny is already feeling the pressure.  For the past couple of years he has watched his market share in the Easter Holiday decline.  Faced with rising costs and declining profit, this year the Bunny has taken the drastic step of hiring nonunion workers to paint […]

Lieutenant Commander Spock has resigned from Star Fleet in wake of a looming sexual harassment scandal. The trouble for Spock, a respected  and decorated officer with no previous hint of scandal, began a few weeks ago.  Eyewitnesses report that the normally staid, logical and unemotional first officer began to experience violent mood swings.  Said Yeoman […]

When a local businessman left his home Monday morning to commute to work he was in for a surprise.  Sitting on top of his car was a giant Lepidoptera named “Mothra.” “I had to wait a half hour for her to leave, and when she did she left a giant pile of excrement all over […]

Once again, I turn my blog over to a guest commentator. (Well, in this case I didn’t have a chance.  Resistance is futile.)  Take it away Locutus of Borg. Thank you, Manhattanatus of Borg. Are you worried about your retirement?  Have you seen the value of assimilated currencies decline?  The dollar, the Euro, Chinese, Japanese, […]

The Department of Homeland Security announced today that a new, higher level, the Charlie Sheen level, will be added to the threat level chart, replacing the former top level of severe. Amid reports of a booze, cocaine and hooker filled rampage at a posh New York City hotel, Homeland Security head Janet Napolitano said, “We’ve […]

Recently I had the opportunity to sit down with notorious Irish con artist Paul David Hewson.  We discussed a variety of issues including the future of his band U2 and allegations against his ONE Foundation. MI:  Bono it’s great to meet you.  I’ve been a fan of U2 for years. Paul Hewson:  Thank you. You […]

  House speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), pictured above, has announced that the controversial Skynet operating system for the Pentagon has been shut down after a series of malfunctions. “After much reflection and trial and error” said Pelosi, “we have decided to go in a new, more cost-efficient direction for our security needs.” Pelosi then told […]

Recently I was honored when legendary NFL quarterback Brett Favre, formerly of the Green Bay Packers and New York Jets and now with the Minnesota Vikings, asked me if he could use my site to send a message to his fans.  Naturally, as a serious journalist I was happy to oblige.  Take it away Brett: […]

Hugo Drax, President and CEO of Drax Industries, exclusive maker of the Space Shuttle,  has announced that in light of his failed attempt to kill all humans and repopulate the planet with a master race that his company will fold operations. “What can I say?  I overextended myself.  Using a rare South American orchid to […]

Yogi Bear, a notoriously mean bear in Jellystone National Park was shot and killed by rangers after it was had killed and eaten park employee Ranger John Smith. Yogi Bear was a bear that park employees kept close tabs on. “He was dangerous around humans” said one. “He would always approach picnickers and try to […]