With the rising of the apes many dramatic changes were made to life on Earth.  But despite that, merchants remain optimistic that their businesses will remain vibrant. “We had to adjust and start catering to the apes” said one man who owns a greeting card store. “It was difficult at first.  Apes don’t have much […]

Variety magazine announced today that, ten years after the man-caused troubles on 9/11, Hollywood will be making its first big studio blockbuster movie about the events of that day.  The movie, tentatively entitled “Bush Was Responsible!”  will be produced by Sony Pictures and begin lensing after the Labor day holiday. Michael Lynton, Chairman and CEO […]

Since the first full-scale zombie outbreak occurred in 2008 the beleaguered human survivors have hunched down behind barricades searching for the best method to overcome their new foes. It appears that a weapon to defeat the zombies has been discovered:  The rifts in zombie society itself will cause their downfall. A spokesman at the Headquarters […]

The stand-off between the City of Gotham and its resident crime fighter Batman turned serious today with each side leveling charges against the other. At the heart of the conflict is Batman’s desire to get a tax abatement on the Bat cave.  Batman, currently in the mist of upgrading the Bat cave has said that […]

The Department of Agriculture announced today that because of a sharp rise in corn prices, Bacon is expected to be “dramatically more expensive” this summer. With the announcement consumers have begun cutting back on their Bacon usage. “I used to have Kevin Bacon cut my lawn once a week.  He was cheap.  Ten dollars was […]

Hollywood, long synonymous with America and American culture announced today that it intends to file for divorce. “This has been a long time coming” said Hollywood. “We’ve grown apart.  We no longer share the same values.  America and I have nothing in common.  Hell, we don’t even like each other anymore.” As part of the […]

Authorities in several states from Oklahoma to Arizona are currently searching for a family of migrant workers called “The Joads” who have created a swathe of terror in their wake. “They’re no good.  That’s what they are” declared one sheriff.  “Why else would they travel along old route 66 when there are modern freeways?  They’re […]

Here at the World-Wide (Hell, the Galaxy-Wide) headquarters of Manhattan Infidel, I am pleased to announce a new feature:  The First Annual Manhattan Infidel Rock & Roll Fantasy Camp to be held the weekend of September 3rd 2011. The festivities will start precisely at 9 AM on Saturday morning.  All those attending will be directed […]

Recently I surprised MSNBC anchor Chris Hansen, best known for the To Catch a Predator series, with an impromptu interview in the lobby of the hotel he had checked into.  The results of our sit down follows: MI:  Good afternoon Chris.  Please have a seat. Chris Hansen:  What the – who are you? MI:  I’m […]

Middle Earth has applied to the European Union for a bailout.  Faced with mounting deficits caused by out of control entitlement spending, and afraid of the reaction of its citizens if spending is cut, the kingdoms of Rohan and Gondor have asked the EU for emergency loans to forestall defaulting on its debt. In addition […]