It has been announced that well-known North Pole prospector Yukon Cornelius is under investigation by the Island of Misfit Toys Department of Thought for possible hate crimes. “He’s been on our radar for awhile now” said Charlie-in-the-Box (pictured here), the Department of Thought’s sub-commissar. His very presence has been an issue with some of our […]

One week after firing head coach Rex Ryan and GM John Idzik after a disappointing 4-12 season the axe fell on the Jets offensive coordinator, Gandalf. “We had high hopes for Gandalf when he hired him” said the Jets owner, Woody Johnson.  “It just didn’t work out.” Before being hired by the Jets Gandalf was […]

Wesley Crusher, previously acting ensign onboard the Starship Enterprise-D and now a cadet at Star Fleet Academy may have been brutally raped during a fraternity initiation. The story, entitled “A Rape at Star Fleet Academy” tells how cadet Crusher was thrown onto a table filled with broken glass and gang raped by several cadets, only three of […]

  Then the Grinch said, “Giddap!” And the sleigh started down Towards the homes where the Whos Lay a-snooze in their town (Even the drug dealers). All the Whos were dreaming sweet dreams without care When he came to the first house on the square. “This will be the test case” the old Grinchy Claus […]

Every Who of color Down in Who-ville Liked Kwanzaa a lot But the Grinch, a racist who lived north of Who-ville  and lived a white privilege lifestyle did not The racist Grinch hated Kwanzaa!  The whole Kwanzaa season! It could be his head wasn’t screwed on just right. It could be perhaps, that his shoes […]

Responding to complaints from parents, popular superhero Superman has announced that he will wear his underwear beneath his tights from now on. “Look I personally like this look” said the caped hero. I’ve been wearing it like this since college. It was something of a fad then.  Batman and I decided to wear our underwear […]

Santa, famous the world over for violating sovereign air space and breaking into homes every Christmas Eve, is being held for questioning in the death of his long time companion Rudolph, the famous reindeer with the red nose. “At approximately 8 am officers were called to Rudolph’s house” said the Chief of Police for the […]

American cocker spaniel Lady has accused Tramp, her one-time companion, of microaggression and disrespecting her canine vagina. “I am an educated, professional cocker spaniel” said Lady. And I feel that Tramp has disrespected me.  He only wanted to sniff and mount me. I warned him that he needs to seek my verbal and/or written consent […]

The rapper known as Big Paybacc died while at a McDonalds in Palmdale, California. According to witnesses, the rapper whose real name was Habeeb Ameer Zekajj, was eating a Big Mac with large fries, soda and a side of McNuggets when he died. “Yeah he was sitting at the booth next to me” said a patron. He was […]

Patricia “Peppermint Patty” Reichardt  married her lover Marcie in a ceremony attended by Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Linus, Schroeder, Charlie Brown’s teacher and Peppermint Patty’s entire woman’s lacrosse semi-pro team. “This is the happiest day of my life” said Peppermint Patty after the ceremony. For a long time I thought I’d never see this day.  But […]