How the Grinch Stole Kwanzaa (Part I)

It came without redistribution or socialist principles!

It came without redistribution or socialist principles!


Who of color

Down in Who-ville

Liked Kwanzaa a lot

But the Grinch, a racist who lived north of Who-ville  and lived a white privilege lifestyle did not

The racist Grinch hated Kwanzaa!  The whole Kwanzaa season!

It could be his head wasn’t screwed on just right.

It could be perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.

But I think that the most likely reason of all

May have been that his heart was two sizes too small (and do to a lack of affordable healthcare his cure was not financially within his reach).

But whatever the reason,

His privileged white lifestyle or his shoes,

He stood there on Kwanzaa Eve, hating the Whos of color,

Staring down from his co-op he bought with by selling stock with a sour, Grinchy frown

At the warm lighted windows (that hadn’t been shot out) below in their town.

For he knew every Who down in Who-ville beneath

Was busy now, hanging a Kwanzaa wreath

“And they’re lighting Kwanzaa candles!’ he snarled with a sneer (the nasty Republican!)

“Tomorrow is Kwanzaa!  It’s practically here!”

Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming,

“I MUST find some way to stop Kwanzaa from coming to the 28 million around the globe for the few who celebrate it!”

For tomorrow he knew…….

…..all the Who girls and boys (but really, what is gender identity)

Would wake bright and early.  They’d rush to celebrate unity, self-determination, collective work and responsibility, cooperative economics, purpose, creativity and faith

And then the noise!  Oh the Noise!  Noise!  Noise!  Noise!

For the Grinch lived a life of white privilege and liked quiet.

The the Whos, young and old and those out on bail, would sit down to a feast.

And they’d feast on fresh fruits representing African Idealism.  And corn! (Native Americans who were also raped by the white man call it “maize.”)

And there’d be drumming and musical selections, libations and a reading of the African Pledge and the Principles of Blackness.

Which is something the teabagging, Republican Grinch couldn’t stand in the least!

And the more the Grinch thought of the beautiful holiday of Kwaanza

The more the Grinch thought, “I must stop this whole thing!

“Why since it was invented in 1965 I’ve put up with it.

“I Must stop Kwanzaa from coming!”

Then he got an idea!

An awful idea!

The white Grinch got a wonderful, awful idea!

“I know just what to do!” the Grinch laughed in his throat, which was raw from his cigarette habit (in itself a sign of racism)

“I’ll create a great society and give the Who’s of color money from the government!”

Then he loaded some bags

And some old empty sacks

And he loaded them with government bureaucrats.

[To be continued]


3 Responses

  1. Oh no! Not bureaucrats! How incredibly horribly bad it will be.

  2. petermc3 says:

    In my crib we be celebrating wit da Kwanza cocktail: two parts T-Bird, one part Southern Comfort, one part Ripple,- how many parts is dat- oh yeah wit a 40 ounce Colt 45 chaser, and a government check on the 1st. Dat Grinch best not be showin’ his racist green face up in here ya.

  3. LSP says:

    I got a pair of looted Air Jordans on the first day of Kwanzaa. btw.

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