Lady Accuses Tramp of Microagression!

Lady begins to feel uncomfortable about Tramp's microagressions!

Lady begins to feel uncomfortable about Tramp’s microagressions!

American cocker spaniel Lady has accused Tramp, her one-time companion, of microaggression and disrespecting her canine vagina.

“I am an educated, professional cocker spaniel” said Lady.

And I feel that Tramp has disrespected me.  He only wanted to sniff and mount me. I warned him that he needs to seek my verbal and/or written consent first but he just laughed.  I have cut of all contact with Tramp and notified him of my intention to seek a court order of protection from this canine beast!

Lady’s story is typical of many professional female canines seeking to make it in a male canine world.

When I first met Tramp I must admit I was very attracted to him.  And he was funny and charming.  And he saved me from a pack of wild dogs.  In my pre-feminine ignorance I was grateful to him.  I should have seen the warning signs.  He saved me so he felt like he owned me.  Slavery!  That’s what all opposite sex canine relations are!  So we went to an Italian restaurant where he was going to show me that he lived a “footloose and collar-free” existence.  We were eating spaghetti and the next thing I knew his lips were on mine.  He didn’t even ask me!  Then he threw me down on the floor, sniffed my anus and mounted me.  “Relax” he kept saying. “You know you want it.”  I was confused.  Maybe I did want it?  Well I went home and my feminist canine friends educated me about the male canine rape epidemic in our patriarchal society.  It was like scales fell from my eyes.  For the first time I knew what I had to do.

Now enlightened and radicalized, Lady called the local pound to report that Tramp still had his testicles. An extensive search was begun for Tramp and he was eventually found, captured and taken to the pound for surgery.

Free from the fear of Tramp’s penis rape, Lady has begun taking courses at a local community college and hopes to get a degree in feminist studies.

If I can use my knowledge to help just one bitch then I know my life has meaning.  I feel dirty every time a male dogs gazes at me.  It’s disgusting.

Meanwhile locked in the pound and awaiting his surgery, Tramp maintains his innocence.

Come on!  Why did she go to the restaurant with me in the first place?  She wanted me.  She needed me.  I ordered the pasta as an excuse to kiss her.  Chewing on the same strand until our lips meet is my signature move.  She didn’t resist. She didn’t resist!  She let me sniff her anus. You can change your mind before butt sniffing. You can change your mind during butt sniffing.  But you can’t change your mind after your butt has been sniffed!

Tramp has also started a website, “Save My Balls” and is asking donations to defray the costs of escaping from the pound.

Lady is touring the country promoting her new book, “Smart Canines, Foolish Choices” and will be a guest speaker at the first annual “Chop ‘Em Off” rally in front of City Hall.  Organizers expect a crowd of thousands of bitches.


2 Responses

  1. A true classic. All that remains is to stand up the faux “Save My Balls” website, blast out the spam email, and rake in the dough.

  2. Hmmm. I wonder if dog balls taste as good as Rocky Mountain oysters? Maybe there’s a business opportunity here. You collect them and I’ll bread them and deep fry them and sell them to people waiting for buses that never come. 50/50!

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