Major Boothroyd, head of the Q Branch of MI6 was fired today, ending his 50-year career supplying state of the art top secret gadgets to the Service’s agents. “This is the most painful thing I’ve ever had to do” declared M, head of MI6. It’s just sad.  He is a patriot and a good man. […]

Every four years Americans are subjected to that horrible event, the abomination of desolation known as the FIFA World Cup.  Every four years good Americans are kicked out of their favorite bars while Eurotrash moves in, takes their places at the bar and flashes bad teeth while getting drunk and vomiting all over the bathroom […]

Today at Manhattan Infidel it is my distinct pleasure to interview the woman of the hour, the woman everyone is talking about, the winner of ESPN’s Courage award, Caitlyn Jenner herself. MI: Good afternoon Miss Jenner. CJ: Please, call me Bruce.  Um, I mean Caitlyn.  I’m sorry.  I got used to calling myself Bruce.  Force of habit […]

In an announcement that surprised many, Super Heroes Incorporated announced today that it is parting ways with Batman. “After much reflection we have decided to end our association with Batman” said  Super Heroes Inc.’s president. We appreciate the job he did for us and praise his many years of keeping Gotham City safe from its suspiciously […]

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, who reached dizzying heights of fame and was known as the “Beatles of the North Pole” committed suicide by hanging himself from a tree early this morning. Rudolph’s career had been in decline for decades and he was in New York looking for work off-Broadway. “The kid saved Christmas.  How […]

Bumbles bounce.  Everyone in the North Pole knew that.  Unfortunately so did the CIA, which is why they sent a black ops team to the North Pole to extract him.  The CIA needed to know the secret of the Bumble’s bouncing technology so they could use it for themselves. “Whomever perfects bouncing technology first wins the […]

Every spring a trouble phenomenon occurs in American life:  The shocking increase in suicides of children 13 years and under. Researchers were at first puzzled by this. “We thought maybe the kids were killing themselves because they felt oppressed by non-progressive Republican policies” said one psychiatrist. Others believed that the suicides could be linked to pre-teen […]

After months of intensive, behind-the-scenes investigations, the National Football League released yesterday its findings on the so-called “Deflate Gate” scandal where the New England Patriots were accused of deflating footballs used by Tom Brady during the AFC Championship game in January. Among the shocking findings: New England Patriots personnel participated in violations of the NFL […]

Two years after her controversial decision to have both of her breasts removed because she has a gene that makes her predisposed to contracting the disease, Jolie has had her ovaries and fallopian tubes removed for the same reason. “Further tests showed that I was predisposed to getting other cancers” she said in a written […]

John Hamm, a rich man with a large penis and the star of the widely popular show “Mad Men” has completed a stint in rehab for alcohol abuse. “It’s true” said Hamm’s agent. My client struggled with his fame.  I remember him telling me, “I have shitloads of money, more women than I can shake […]