Respected physicist and widower Dr. David Banner who due to an accidental overdose of Gamma radiation becomes transformed into a violent, muscular green creature now says that he probably shouldn’t have devoted his studies to this. “You know I used to have a career. I used to be respected” said Banner. Then my wife died […]

Having interviewed noted environmentalist Leonardo DiCaprio before I was hesitant to do it again. But he kept insisting he had a story to tell. So I agreed. We met up at an unusual place for a multimillionaire jet-setter:  A laundromat. MI: Good afternoon Mr. DiCaprio. LD: Please, call me Mr. Smith.  That’s the name on my passport […]

Famous Sesame Street resident Oscar the Grouch has written a formal letter of complaint to the Sesame Street block association protesting what he feels is harassment designed to get him to leave the neighborhood. “Why don’t people leave me alone” said Oscar. I don’t like people. I don’t want to be around them. I just […]

Being something of an investigative reporter (it was yours truly who broke the story that Hillary Clinton was a robot) I was immediately drawn to the scandal in Rio involving our swimmers. I am dedicated to the truth and only the truth in my investigative journalism. I have a ruthless and cold-blooded dedication to the […]

The Tooth Fairy announced today that effective immediately he will begin winding down business and will close his offices completely by October 1st.   After October 1st children are advised to “not lose their teeth.” “Times change” said the Tooth Fairy in a released statement. My business model was no longer profitable. I got into […]

Despite being one of the more popular shows on television, the producers of Lassie have decided to retool the format to provide a “more modern Lassie.” “The first three years of the show focused on the Miller family and their farm” said a network executive. While that sort of nuclear family environment might have played […]

Once every four years an exciting and fun-filled event happens. Manhattan Infidel has sex and/or moves his bowels watches the Summer Olympics. Here are a few of my thoughts on the Olympics (coverage provided by the totally competent and non-biased leftist organization known as NBC.) The Rowing Through Medical Waste, Body Parts and Raw Sewage […]

Long a fixture throughout the southwest, Tonto will no longer be fighting crime and righting injustice with The Lone Ranger. “I have come to realize that my people need me more than the white man does” said Tonto. The past couple years with The Lone Ranger have been a process of self-awakening for me. While […]

Superman, renowned superhero and defender of truth, justice and the American way, has been stripped of his ability to fly by the Federal Aviation Administration. “Effective immediately the extra-terrestrial personage known colloquially as “Superman”  is banned from flying anywhere within the United States” said the FAA’s administrator Michael Huerta. This is not a decision we […]

The feud between Godzilla and Tokyo appears to have hit an all-time high after the governor Yuriko Koike banned Godzilla from entering the city under penalty of death. “We have been patient with him” she said. We know he is a Japanese citizen but every time he visits our city we end up with hundreds of millions in […]