Following on the heels of his death at the hands of Navy Seals, the final tape of terror mastermind Osama Bin Laden has been released.  I was lucky enough to hear excerpts from this chilling tape. The tape begins with Bin Laden declaring eternal holy war against the west: OBL:   With the holy Prophet […]

Osama Bin Laden, the terrorist mastermind responsible for the 9/11 attacks was killed during a unilateral, non-nuanced military action in Pakistan.  We start our coverage from Hell. Dateline Hell I am standing in the lowest circle of Hell.  Sources say that Osama Bin Laden showed up here yesterday.  He appeared confused and was favoring a […]

A tall middle-aged man who calls himself George Pataki sent out a press release today announcing that he is forming an exploratory committee to determine if he should run for President. Among the cable networks and papers that received the press release the reaction ranged from the Poughkeepsie Journal’s “Pataki?  Didn’t he play Riff Raff […]

The following is an official press release from official people acting officially.  (And remember, as the Manhattan Infidel I never make things up.) Hello America.  I am Donna Brazile, interim Chairperson of the Democratic National Committee.  On this Monday after Earth Day (known in the old calendar as Easter Monday) I would like to congratulate […]

The Congress of  the former Republic of the United States, acting on the overwhelming wishes of the respectable citizens, repealed Article 1 Section 9 Clause 8 of the Constitution. Said clause, which reads No title of nobility shall be granted by the United States.  And no person holding any office of profit or trust under […]

President Obama started his campaign for reelection with a stop on the Gulf of Mexico in Louisiana, site of the 2010 oil spill.  Holding a can of oil in his hand he poured it onto the beach. This pristine beach, a beauty of  nature was damaged irreversibly by the oil spill last year.  The Republicans […]

The handsome ex-governor of Massachusetts stared into the camera. Hello. I am Mitt Romney.  And this is my hair.  I am announcing today the opening of an exploratory committee.  This exploratory committee has one purpose:  To determine by how much I will lose the 2012 Republican presidential nomination.  If my exploratory committee determines that I […]

The House of Representatives today held a contentious hearing aimed at stripping the EPA of its powers to regulate greenhouse gas emissions. The main opponent of the bill, the Energy Tax Prevention Act of 2011 was Representative Jay Inslee (D-WA) who brought a stack of books to the hearing  and placed them next to him.  […]

President Obama spoke to a war-weary nation today to explain why he has ordered U.S. fighters to enforce a no-fly zone over Detroit Michigan. Noting that U.S. interests were not directly affected by the violence in Detroit, President Obama gave voice to the so-called Obama Doctrine. There will be times when our safety is not […]

For the third day in a row, U.S. planes bombed targets in Libya, including Gaddafi’s compound in a United Nations led effort to provide humanitarian relief and remove the Libyan strongman from power even though that is not our goal. From Brazil Obama met with reporters. I approved our  humanitarian bombing mission in Libya because […]