Being a well-known and respected blogger can mean only one thing:  I’m very lonely.  I report the issues of the day.  You see, I consider this blog a public trust. I have a responsibility to pass onto my readers facts that will make them think.  And so dear readers I now present with limited commercial […]

From the moment the news first hit that New York State Democratic Senator Malcolm Smith had been arrested and charged with attempting to bribe himself onto the Republican ballot for mayor of New York (confused already?) in 2013, I, the Manhattan Infidel, was all over the story. No stone would remain unturned. No expense spared […]

Shortly before dinner time last evening the rumors started coming in over the wires:  Porn stars really do enjoy their work.  Famous puffy-faced Hollywood superstar Ashley Judd had decided against a run for the United States Senate. But let’s have Ms. Judd speak for herself.  Here is the official announcement: After serious and thorough contemplation, […]

  In a move that surprised many, Satan today announced that he has permanently banned Al Gore from Hell. “I just couldn’t take it anymore” Satan told reporters during a conference call to explain his actions. I mean from the moment he died and ended up down here he’s been nothing but a pain in […]

  We here at the worldwide headquarters of Manhattan Infidel pride ourselves on our knowledge of words.  For words are the medium through which we communicate.  The wrong choice of words can lead to misunderstanding.  Like the other night at the bar when I asked the college girl if she would like to touch it.  […]

  As part of his war against obesity Mayor Bloomberg announced today that 32-ounce AIDS cocktails will now be unavailable in New York City.  At the press conference announcing his measure Bloomberg expressed concern over the waistlines of AIDS sufferers. “Why do you need to drink a 32-ounce AIDS cocktail anyway” said the mayor. You’re […]

  Being a member of the mainstream media grants me access to some of the most important movers and shakers in America today.  And with that in mind I am pleased to welcome our honorable Secretary of State John Kerry to the pages of Manhattan Infidel. MI: Welcome Secretary Kerry. JK:  Mombo dogface banana patch. […]

Drone strikes have been much in the news recently.  Drone strikes against foreign nationals.  Drone strikes against U.S. citizens on foreign soil and now the possibility that the government might use drone strikes on U.S. soil.  With this controversial topic in mind I was surprised and honored when our Attorney General Eric Holder agreed to […]

  Famed socialist, friend to the poor, friend of Hollywood, close ally of Sean Penn redistributed his life today.  The announcement came at 4:25 local time by Venezuelan Vice President Nicolas Maduro. It is true.  Our great leader is dead. Because he cared for the poor and the environment so much, and since he knew […]

  The Friday deadline has come and gone. Sequestration is now the law of the land.  Drastic, life-changing 2.3 percent cuts to the budget reduction in planned increased spending is affecting everyone.  Even yours truly. As soon as the sequestration was in place I was working the phones, calling up all my sources, trying to […]