Note:  Through my sources in the government I watch The West Wing I have discovered that the following email will be sent out to all college graduates. Have you considered a career in the State Department?  While not as glamorous as a career in the NSA we at the State Department like to think of […]

Good morning. It has come to our attention at the Internal Revenue Service that you recently had a medical procedure performed (the removal of a gallbladder.) As you may be aware the IRS is in charge of administering the Affordable Care Act.  Under the authority granted to us by Congress please answer our questions.  Please […]

Following the shocking and unprecedented totally expected news that it was Leon Panetta himself who leaked the details of the raid that killed Osama Bin Laden I have used my investigative skills tell me what I want to know or I’ll photoshop more photos of you to compile a partial list of Leon Panetta’s other […]

Jake and the Fat Man made their triumphant return to the Jersey shore yesterday, wowing crowds and reminding people once again why they are America’s favorite comedy duo. It was at the Jersey shore that the two first teamed up and unexpectedly created a comedy phenomenon. Before this the Fat Man was viewed as an […]

Being a blogger means one thing:  Not making a profit Being at the forefront of breaking news stories.  And when the scandal of the IRS targeting groups opposed to the Obama administration broke I spared no expense to get to the bottom of the story.  Using my contacts in the government hookers I was able […]

Do not worry about umbrella anxiety. It happens to everyone. To:  President Obama, 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Re:  The purchase of our model 27X black folding umbrella As the new owner of our black model 27X umbrella you can be assured of quality umbrella usage for years to come.  Before using your umbrella we ask you […]

More gun violence has struck the heartland of America. Nineteen people were shot during a Mother’s Day parade in the city of New Orleans. “It was horrible” said an eyewitness. The brother just started firing into the crowd.  I’m a lifelong resident of New Orleans and I haven’t seen such gun violence ever!  Well, not […]

Proving once again his mastery over the elemental forces of life, President Obama held a poetry jam today in the White House, an event that could possibly be the most important thing to ever happen in the history of the world.  Dazzled reporters were left temporarily at a loss for words. The Sun rose in […]

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) has had his office bugged, leading to embarrassing revelations about his campaign against the puffy-faced martyr Ashley Judd. “This is just like Watergate” said Democratic National Committee chairperson Debbie Wasserman Schultz. The similarities are striking.  In Watergate we had an evil Republican seeking dirt on political opponents.  Now we […]

It has been announced that President Barack Obama has agreed to appear on Season 17 of Dancing with the Stars. “President Obama is excited about the opportunity” said Press Secretary Jay Carney As a sophisticated intellect he enjoys opportunities like these to get away from the stresses of being America’s chief executive.  Why just the […]