Jake and the Fat Man Make Triumphant Return to the Jersey Shore

The Fat Man (left) and his buddy Jake share a tender moment.

The Fat Man (left) and his buddy Jake share a tender moment.

Jake and the Fat Man made their triumphant return to the Jersey shore yesterday, wowing crowds and reminding people once again why they are America’s favorite comedy duo.

It was at the Jersey shore that the two first teamed up and unexpectedly created a comedy phenomenon. Before this the Fat Man was viewed as an unsuccessful “shock comic”, a Johnny one-note whose only talent was screaming at people.  Jake on the other hand was viewed as a faux intellectual, a man over his depth, thin-skinned and enamored of himself.

Together they make comedy gold.

Strolling arm and down the boardwalk The Fat Man cracked jokes and played the the fool while Jake rolled his eyes and generally acted like the long-suffering wiser friend.

One example of their humor that brightened the Jersey shore and had them in stitches was their trademark “evil Republican” joke:

Jake: You know what makes me angry?

The Fat Man: Those Republicans?  Boy I can’t wait until you get back to Washington and really give it to them!

Jake: But aren’t you a Republican?

The Fat  Man: I am?  Wow!  Yowzie, Yowzie, Yowsie! Knuck knuck Knuck!  Nobody tells me ‘nuttin!

The Fat Man would then end the joke by putting his thumb in his mouth and blowing, causing his baseball cap to rise on his head.

“That always gets a laugh” said a critic.  “I mean, where do these two get their ideas?”

Perhaps the highlight of their tour of the shore was when the Fat Man won a giant bear during a coin toss.

The Fat Man: I won a bear!  Boy.  I never win ‘nuttin.  No one gives me ‘nuttin because I’m fat.

Jake: Now, Fat Man, you know you have to give me 35 percent of your bear!

The Fat Man: What?  Why?

Jake:  Because it’s only fair.  You have to give me your fair share.

The Fat Man:  I don’t want to.  I want to keep it all.

JakeThen I’ll have the IRS audit you.

The Fat Man IRS?  Yowzie Yowsie! Knuck Knuck Knuck. Here.  Take your 25 percent.

Jake:  I said 35 percent.

The Fat Man:  Oh, I never get to keep ‘nuttin for myself.

JakeWell Fat Man, you have to ask yourself if you’ve already made enough money.

Likened by critics to a modern day cross between the Three Stooges and Abbott and Costello, Jake and the Fat Man have announced that they will soon begin lensing their first movie entitled “Jake and the Fat Man Battle Hurricanes, Nazis and Tea Baggers.”

That is, unless they break up.

Behind the scenes there are reports of tension between the two.  The Fat Man recently had his stomach stapled in an effort to lose weight, provoking Jake’s anger.

“Dammit I need the Fat Man fat!” he told assistants.  “It’s Jake and the Fat Man not Jake and the Slightly Overweight Man.  Every 30 pounds he loses I lose an important demographic!”

What’s next for Jake and the Fat Man?  An appearance on David Letterman.

“I like Letterman” said the Fat Man.  “He’s nice to me.  Just like Jake.  Jake and I are pals!”



3 Responses

  1. Jake and the Fat Man or Laurel and Hardy? Nah. You’re right. Laurel was funny. Jake, not so much.

  2. Bob Agard says:

    Your superb satire is the best on the web now. Linked here: http://bobagard.blogspot.com/2013/05/jake-and-fat-man.html

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