Being a blogger can often be lonely. Stuck in my crappy, cramped one-bedroom in upper Manhattan with nothing to do except to see if any women respond to my penis selfies the mind can wander. And so it has.  Do I have enough money to pay my bills this month? What if I ate something […]

With President Obama flying off to Paris to address the settled science of global warming climate change we here at the settled science of Manhattan Infidel (for Manhattan Infidel is a fact and if you disagree you are stupid and racist) have taken the liberty of reprinting in full Dear Leader’s address to assembled cultists […]

On the heels of the resignation of the President and Chancellor of the University of Missouri, and protests at colleges elsewhere, one man came home to find his pre-teen daughter demanding he resign. “Daddy’s household is white. He’s not inclusive” she said. “Naturally I was surprised” said the father. I consider myself an enlightened liberal.  I […]

The news started coming in from Paris late Friday afternoon:  A series of coordinated attacks in the city that  had killed over 120 people. While the MSM was cautious as to the motives and the attackers, we at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ did not share their caution.  For there can be only one […]

With the civil war in Mordor still raging the other Kingdoms of Middle Earth face a humanitarian crisis as hundreds of thousands of refugee enter their territories. “Gondor and Rohan are at the breaking point” said Frodo, who first noticed the migrants leaving Mordor when he went to the kingdom to destroy the Ring of […]

Emilio Estefan and his wife Gloria, Shakira, Carlos Santana, Wyclef Jean and others have released the single “We’re All Mexican” in hopes of stopping Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump and his “hateful anti-Hispanic sentiment.” The hastily put-together protest song was recorded and immediately shipped north for distribution in the United States. “We are hoping to […]

A week after the bombing of a Doctors Without Borders hospital in Afghanistan President Obama held a press conference and declared that the bombing of the hospital was a “necessary first step” in containing the group. “For too long we have let this group expand its operations without interference” declared the President. The world demands […]

The emperor of the Galactic Empire, Lord Palpatine, has announced that his first order of business will be to introduce strict lightsaber regulation into all territory currently controlled by the Empire. “The safety of our subjects is my first priority” declared the fearless Emperor. One need only look at the statistics to see that the […]

Newly-resigned speaker of the House John Boehner (R-OH) has been chosen to play the lead in a sequel to the Crying Game. “Hollywood is sequel happy right now” said a producer involved with the project. So when we green-lighted this project the most important part for everyone was getting the casting right. We first thought of […]

A flash mob started by controversial itinerant Puerto Rican preacher Jesus (pronounced Hey-Zeus) was shut down by government authorities today when it was discovered that he had failed to apply for the proper permits. Sources report that Jesus had just finished saying “Blessed are the poor in spirit for they shall inherit the Earth” when […]