Hoping to attract new and younger readers, the American Council of Christian Churches (ACCC) has released their  much anticipated new Bible translation. “With this translation we wanted to keep the essence intact but emphasize the latent multiculturalism and environmentalism of the Bible” said their President Dr. John McNight (EMC).  “I think this translation will help […]

The United States today filed a restraining order against the Continent of Europe.  Citing an “uncomfortable pattern of behavior ” that breached a natural comfort zone, the U.S. has asked that Europe not contact it anymore and that it stay 3000 miles distance from the Unites States at all times. “I mean, c’mon.  Europe’s a […]

Mr Vice President, Mr. Speaker, members of the Senate and of the House of Representatives: Yesterday, October 9th, 2009 — a date which will live in infamy — the Moon was suddenly and deliberately attacked by the forces of the United States of America. The Moon was at peace with that nation and indeed tolerated […]

A new study released today looking into health care costs among zombies has found that the undead who maintain a strict vegetarian lifestyle have lower cholesterol and a longer afterlife. “Zombies are second only to Hispanics in terms of minority population in the United States.  With numbers like these the Administration wanted to find out […]

The Internet today announced the release of its latest much-touted but troubled Operating System, the Al Gore 2.0.  This latest Al Gore will be the first version available to the general public. After extensive beta testing of Al Gore versions 1.0  and 1.5 revealed major bugs that had to be eliminated the Internet is confident […]

Today in Hollywood a special rally was held to support embattled director Roman Polanski.  The chairperson of the National Society to Support Roman Polanski spoke in front of an enthusiastic audience that numbered in the thousands. “Hollywood has always stood for one thing” he said. “Rampant drug abuse?” asked one man in the crowd. “Okay, […]

It was learned today that the entire Mexican National Swim Team has drowned in the Rio Grande River.  Mexican President Felipe Calderon, in announcing the tragedy said “This is the worst calamity to befall Mexico since the last Mexican Swim Team drowned in the Rio Grande, which in turn is the worst calamity to befall […]

New York University today announced its complete Spring curriculum, including several new controversial courses.  John Sexton, President of NYU when announcing the schedule said “We wish to emphasize the diversity, forward thinking milieu and commitment to progress that has always been our specialty.” First among the new offerings is “Gender Bias in the New Testament”, […]

The fallout from local New York City anchor Ernie Anastos’ on air comment to “Keep f*&%^&g that chicken” continues.   What started as a seemingly harmless on air expletive (see below) has morphed into an incident that has left New York City in chaos. Keep F*^&#*% That Chicken: Thousands of enraged chickens marched up 6th Avenue […]

Once again The Manhattan Infidel has expanded the scope of his site to better serve his readers.  I now present your Daily Horoscope: Aries (March 21st – April 19th) You will be discovered pleasuring yourself to downloaded pictures of Rue McClanahan.  Mortified, embarrassed and filled with self-loathing and shame you will enter rehab.  In rehab […]