Fresh off the environmental catastrophe in the Gulf of Mexico, engineers from British Petroleum are working on a new crisis:  the attempt to place a containment dome over Whoopi Goldberg. After a series of controversial statements on ABC’s The View including her comment that Michael Vick should not be punished because “dog fighting is part […]

The first annual Suicide Bomber and Liberace Fan Club Convention in Las Vegas ended in tragedy today when one of the bombers died from an apparent food allergy. “We had just come from buying new Air Jordan 2010 sneakers and were eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches” said Abdul-Majeed Hussein. “All of a sudden Fareed […]

As part of my ongoing series designed to impart valuable information to my readers I now present my guide to success with the ladies.  I personally vouch that all the of the following will help you increase satisfaction in your personal life. The first step to success with the ladies is of course to actually […]

Many companies nowadays are attaching slogans to their products in the hope of attracting an ethos or corporate culture to its use.  Many companies are not content simply to have people use their product. The correct demographic must use it.  Toilet paper, it seems, is not immune to this trend. Perhaps the most notorious example […]

With Greece’s bond rating reduced to the “junk” level, the European Union has begun closely  monitoring Greece’s credit card statements. “We are concerned” said the EU Parliament President Jerzy Buzek.  “Greece is a very important part of the European Union and we want a healthy Greece.  That’s the way the EU works.  We want to […]

During the Eighth inning of a game between the Philadelphia Phillies and the St. Louis Cardinals, a 17-year old fan ran out onto the field at Citizen’s Bank Ballpark.  He was immediately tasered by quick thinking Philadelphia police. In the aftermath television shows and talk radio were discussing whether the force was justified or excessive. […]

The NYPD, Homeland Security and the FBI have announced that the suspect in Saturday evening’s foiled Times Square car bombing is a “balding white male in his mid ’40s” prompting an intensive coast to coast search for former teen idol Leif Garrett. “Right now all evidence points to Garrett, who I believe used to be […]

It only took 15 months, but Manhattan Infidel has moved into position as the 1,345,824th most popular blog in America, beating out stiff competition from the Pictures of Duct Tape blog. The American Institute of Blog Rankings announced the findings today at their annual dinner. When reached for comment, the blogger known as Manhattan Infidel […]

President Obama today announced a 800 billion dollar Federal program  to oversee the United States’ transition to more environmentally friendly and socially conscious sexual activity. “All over the United States, people are engaging in male-centered expressions of bodily regeneration.  People are using positions that enforce a mindset of submissiveness to the male-centered social order. This […]

New York City’s carriage horses, popular with tourists, have called off their strike after winning significant concessions. “This is a victory for working horses everywhere” said the leader of the horse strike, who goes by the name of Traveler.  “No longer will the man get rich upon the backs of tired, oppressed horses.  And I […]