It only took 15 months, but Manhattan Infidel has moved into position as the 1,345,824th most popular blog in America, beating out stiff competition from the Pictures of Duct Tape blog.
The American Institute of Blog Rankings announced the findings today at their annual dinner.
When reached for comment, the blogger known as Manhattan Infidel said “How did you call me? Seriously. How did you call me? My phone was disconnected weeks ago” before asking reporters if they “happened to have any dry pants? I’ve soiled all mine and I used the quarters I was saving for laundry at the peep show.”
Manhattan Infidel has a colorful history. When launched in February 2009 the blog was listed at 7,633,581st on the list of popular blogs, behind “Up Close Photos of Herpes Sores”, “The Wisdom of Rosie O’Donnell” and “Up Close Photos of Rosie O’Donnell’s Herpes Sores.”
Soon however the blog started its climb to the top. In June a milestone was reached as Manhattan Infidel passed “MSNBC Programming Highlights” to reach no. 4,000,001 on the list, barely missing an opportunity to knock off the popular “My Cat Does Funny Things” from the 4,000,000 position.
And there things stood until recently. Manhattan Infidel was unable to dislodge My Cat Does Funny Things.
“I blame the photos of cats chasing string. Who can resist that” said the Manhattan Infidel.
Fully aware the he needed a new strategy if he was to move up in the blogger universe, Manhattan Infidel consulted Charlie Robertson, an unemployed software technician from Troy, New York, who has been credited with created the first “web log” using his AOL account back in 1993.
“Charlie gave me valuable advice.”
Charlie’s advice? Always give the public what they want. And if that doesn’t work, give them Duct tape.
“So I started writing about Duct tape, its various uses and how you should always keep Duct tape in your back pocket like MacGyver” said the Manhattan Infidel.
It was then that Manhattan Infidel took off, rapidly leapfrogging such popular blogs as “Cures for Toenail Fungus”, “Internal Plumbing During the Third Reich” and “New York Mets Highlights From the 2009 Season.”
Now that Manhattan Infidel has passed Pictures of Duct Tape, he was asked if his plans for his blog will change.
“Obviously there is no point in writing about Duct tape anymore since I’ve vanquished them. So I intend to spend the next year writing about the history of Band-Aid.”
For those who are interested, the “Pictures of Band-Aids” blog is currently ranked at number 2,374 behind the surprising popular “My Sexual Encounter with Larry King” blog and “The Microsoft Vista Operating Manual as Interpreted by Mimes.”
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Idea: we combine our blogs and create some synergies. Between the two of us, I’m convinced we can get into the mid 900,000s in popularity.
I say we combine into a super blog called “Innomimanhattanshamusadhdhideout.com”
We’ll show that damn duct tape who’s boss!
Matt approves of this plan.
Hey, it’s gotta be better than “MSNBC”.
Hell, we could be drunken, lobotomized zombies and still be better than MSNBC…or was I being redundant?
That would be a redundancy sad to say.
I get more hits for “duct tape” than I do for “Nancy Pelosi boob photos.” You can understand why.
Duct tape isn’t out to destroy America.
Are you suggesting that Nancy Pelosi’s boobs are trying to destroy America?
They are lethal weapons.
That is not really a good news.