The celebration was about to begin.  Banners were hung in the plaza. It was the Bicentennial of Mexican Independence.    There was only one thing missing:  people. “It was dark, deserted, desolate.  Not a living thing around for miles” said an American visitor.  “It was like going to Citi Field to watch the Mets.” Calls to […]

The suicide vest, unsightly and long a victim of function over form is about to get a makeover. “It’s literally an exploding market” said one designer.  “It’s time we tapped into it.” A growing number of would be suicide bombers are being caught because their bomb-laden vests are bulky and can be seen beneath their […]

Noted filmmaker Michael Moore, champion of the working class, has announced that he will personally eat his way through 2300 feet of rock to rescue the trapped Chilean miners. “This is so typical of capitalism” said the hero Moore.   “The working man has to suffer and put himself in harms way to satisfy the rich […]

Puffing on a cigar Fidel Castro admitted to reporters that the communist system he instituted in Cuba has not worked out according to plan. “Boy do I have egg on my face” said the long-time leader of Cuba.  “I don’t know what went wrong.  The government runs 90 percent of the economy and we have […]

In the latest disturbing trend on the front lines in Iraq, Afghanistan and here at home, once loyal dogs trained as bomb-sniffers have been going rogue.  Some have refused to sniff.  Others have taken a more activist approach, strapping bombs to themselves and blowing up handlers.  Still others abandon all pretense to dignity, chasing cars […]

It’s happened to all of us.  At some point in your life you will be pulled over by a policeman and given a speeding ticket.  This will lead to a fine and points on your license.  Both of these you naturally want to avoid.  As part of my continuing series that provides life advice to […]

Recently I was lucky enough to snag an interview with one of the decades most fascinating personalities and one that everyone wants to interview:  the Gulf Oil Spill himself. MI:  Thank you for meeting with me.  Let’s start out with some basic questions.  How old are you? GOS:  I’m about 65 million years old.  Give […]

A buffalo, perhaps not realizing the implications of its actions, gored and killed a veteran conservationist today. “I don’t understand why the buffalo killed him” said a friend.  “He devoted his entire life to helping oppressed buffalo.  He just wanted to make their lives better.  And get massive government grants.” The buffalo, hungry and perhaps […]

Dateline Rome.  August 26th 410: Rome, the eternal city was sacked today by Visigoths,  a normally peaceful tribe.  As the Visigoths poured into the city, stunned Roman citizens wondered who was responsible for the first sacking of the city in almost 800 years. Many pointed the finger of blame at the previous emperor, Georgicus Bushius. […]

As part of my long, single minded, ruthless and implacable march towards world domination (interrupted only by trips to the refrigerator to grab beer and long sojourns on my couch eating potato chips) I created the Manhattan Infidel web site.  My plan is proceeding on schedule and with any luck by 2014 the world will […]