Dr. Zachary Jones, research scientist at the Institute for Science Stuff, knew immediately his invention would change the world. It has five speeds and three pulse patterns!  And when I put a lawnmower in front of it, well damned if it didn’t start her up and cut the grass. I’m hoping for a Nobel prize […]

Minutes after the Green Bay Packers, led by quarterback Aaron Rodgers won Superbowl XLV, millions of phones across the United States were inundated with pictures of Brett Favre’s penis. The resulting traffic caused many servers to crash, leaving a large portion of the United States without cellular coverage.’ “I’ve never seen anything like it” said […]

Having been fired, having left his job as the host of Countdown on MSNBC, noted journalist Keith Olbermann has asked me if he could use my blog to send a special message detailing his plans for the future.  Naturally I said yes, as long as he didn’t use my bathroom.  Take it away Keith: Thank […]

When I started this humble blog in 2009 I had two goals in mind:  To give an outlet to my voice and to prevent Megyn Kelly from escaping from my place, where I had her tied to the bed.  Unfortunately, I was successful in only one of my objectives.  Sure, I could fill the void […]

I’d like to take this opportunity to introduce a new feature to Manhattan Infidel, a feature that I hope will be an annual one:  The Manhattan Infidel “Pete Best Award for Epic Futility in the Face of Epic Futility.”  Once a year, or more if circumstances warrant, this prize will be given to the person […]

For centuries centaurs, creatures that are part human, part horse have fascinated western culture.  Many myths, songs, books and movies have featured them.  But what is it really like to be a centaur? Fortunately, courtesy of the Centaur Normalization Act of 2006, there are now many centaurs in the United States.  The results of the […]

Huckleberry Finn, Mark Twain’s famous novel and American masterpiece is coming out in a new, modern, censored edition.  The “N” word has been replaced by “slave“, “Injun” has been replaced by “Native American” and “White Man” has been replaced by “Oppressor Pig from Northern Europe.” Albert Gribben, editor of the new edition says that he […]

And so another year has gone by.  As 2010 has concluded I’d like to take a look at some of the top stories of the year.  Stories that the Main Stream Media ignored.  But I, the Manhattan Infidel, had the courage to write about.  And so here they are – the top five stories ignored […]

Long Island, New York and Los Angeles California are separated by 3000 miles.   But they share one thing in common.  Both are home to numerous prolific serial killers.  Both would like to be known as the “Serial Killer Capital of the United States.”  But only one can get that coveted title, the recognition and the […]

Stunned by recent incidents of schoolyard bullying, and heeding the cry of Hollywood to do something, the House passed a resolution calling for an end to “all bullying and unnice behavior” in the entire United States “unless said bullying is directed at a monster such as Sarah Palin.” The House resolution was introduced by Anthony […]