Manhattan Infidel Answers All Your London Bridge Terror Attack Questions (The “Nothing to See Here Move Along” Edition)

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Nothing to see here people. Move along.

Once again London has fallen victim to a terror attack. Once again the world offers up “thoughts and prayers.”  Once again world leaders vow to “Get tough on terror. And we mean it this time. We really do. But how can we get tough on terror and not conflict with our ‘open borders’ theology?”

Being a member of the MSM when a terror attack happens people often come to me to get the narrative.

While I must stress that the narrative on the ground is still evolving and may change at the drop of a hat (see James Comey) here is the preliminary narrative as we know it at the moment:

Q: What were the attackers’ motives?

A: It’s a mystery. We may never know. Perhaps they were angered by Brexit.

Q:  That makes sense. The European Union is the greatest force for individual freedom in the world today. How could the English be so stupid as to leave?

A:  I too was shocked by the sheer stupidity of the English.  But you know these white men of northern European origin. They are irrational, hate-filled racists and cannot think clearly.

Q: I hear the attackers are Muslim

A: THAT’S A RACIST STATEMENT YOU RACIST RACOSITER! I will make sure you are fired, boycotted and shunned.

Q: Okay so what was the attackers’ religious affiliation?

A: Probably Church of England. But if the Muslim attackers were from Scotland then Presbyterian. (You know how they are!)

Q; Wait, I though the attackers weren’t Muslim?

A; Are you trying to confuse me with your trick questions? I expect as much from an alt right nationalist such as you.

Q: Is it okay to offer up my thoughts and prayers for the victims of next month’s terror attack in London?

A: By all means. And while your at it change your Facebook profile photo to the Union Jack.

Q:  Is it possible Donald Trump was behind the terror attack?

A: That is a distinct probability. While we have as of yet no evidence to fit that narrative we are working feverishly behind the scenes to establish a motive and impeach Trump.

Q:  Why would Trump want to kill innocent civilians in London?

A:  He’s Donald Trump. He’s literally Hitler! Look it up!

Q:  Would this attack still have happened if Hillary were president?

A:  Sadly because of the misogyny of Americans we shall never know. Unless Chelsea runs in 2020. She will get elected.

Q: Thank you Manhattan Infidel. We depend on your to give us the narrative.

A: You’re welcome. As a member of the MSM it is my duty. And remember, open borders is the only way to stop terrorism.

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2 Comments

2 Responses

  1. Petermc3 says:

    The Clash is issuing a reprise to their 1979 album London Calling naming it Mecca Calling while the single Spanish Bombs will be replaced on the new album with “Why rape english tykes when I can kill myself and have 72 unshaven virgins.” Now available at Sam Goodys…err… I-Tunes

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