World Shocked as Gilligan’s Island Test Fires Nuclear Missile!

The Rogue nation inhabitants

The Rogue nation inhabitants

The United Nations convened an emergency session today after the rogue and isolated island nation of Gilligan successfully test fired a nuclear missile.

The Secretary General of the UN, Ban Ki-moon has said that any further acts of belligerence on the part of Gilligan’s Island will result in “sanctions and world condemnation.”

From Martha’s Vineyard where he was vacationing, President Obama stressed that the United States was willing to act, unilaterally if necessary, to prevent Gilligan’s Island from obtaining the fuel and technical know-how to launch a missile at the US mainland.

We have been in negotiations with Gilligan’s Island for years now hoping to end their rogue nation status and their sponsorship of terror around the globe. My secretary of State John Kerry has been instructed to fly to Gilligan’s Island to negotiate with their leader, Gilligan. I’m sorry but I don’t know his last name. Or maybe that is his last name. Like I said, our intelligence is lacking at the moment.

The story of Gilligan’s Island began three years ago when a two man crew and five passengers landed on an island 300 miles southeast of Honolulu, declared themselves an independent country and asked for admission to the UN.

Shortly thereafter Gilligan (pictured here)

It smells like sulfer in here. They say the devil smells like sulfer! The Devil and barack obama!

It smells like sulfur in here. They say the devil smells like sulfur! The Devil and barack obama!

flew to New York and addressed the UN personally.

“I come in the name of socialism and peace” declared Gilligan.

We are a tiny island nation and we have the perfect economic system. We share all good equally among our citizens. This includes Ginger and Mary Ann since monogamy is bourgeois. Speaking of bourgeois it smells like sulfur in here. They say Hell smells like sulfur. You know what else smells like sulfur?  Barack Obama. He is a phony socialist. We are the true socialists. We wish to live in peace but America won’t leave us alone so we must arm and prepare for invasion.

After returning to his island nation he instructed the Professor to begin making uranium for bombs from coconuts.

The Professor’s first attempt at a nuclear missile exploded on the launch pad and his second veered off course and destroyed Guam.

The third attempt was more successful and detonated off of Oahu.

Democratic Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton vows to make negotiations for a peaceful settlement with Gilligan’s Island her top priority when she is elected.

In the interim President Obama has announced that no further shipments of tank tops and short shorts will be sent to the island.

“Our source says that Gilligan makes Mary Ann

It is good for the workers that she wear this outfit!

It is good for the workers that she wear this outfit!

wear them all the time.  He says it’s good for morale and is better than Viagra for his sexual potency” said a CIA agent.

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