I’m all about security. And no leaks!

Labor Day has passed and the campaign for President is in full swing.

Campaigns cost money however and Hillary Clinton has been criticized for disappearing for weeks at a time to attend private fundraisers.  But now she doesn’t have to. For Hillary has killed two birds with one stone. Her new ad not only promotes her but also brings in money because for the first time in U.S. history a campaign commercial has been sponsored.

In this case, Hillary’s sponsor is Depend Undergarments, which allegedly paid her campaign seven million for the sponsorship. The commercial will begin airing next week.

For the curious among my readers I have provided a sneak preview of her groundbreaking commercial.

So sit back and enjoy!

[The scene:  The server room of Hillary Clinton’s Chappaqua estate. Hillary is using a screwdriver to secure her private email server in the wall mount.]

Hillary:  Oh hello there. Welcome to my home. I’m Hillary Clinton, former Watergate Special Counsel, former First Lady, former Senator from New York and former Secretary of State and I need your support in this election.

You know I’ve had a distinguished career with many accomplishments. And over the years I’ve learned the importance of security and preventing leaks. That’s why I’m working on my private email server now. I just finished installing security updates, closing ports and disabling the GUI interface, all of which helps prevent leaks.

And you know what else prevents leaks?  My new Depend Fit-Flex Underwear for Women with maximum absorbency. And for the 51 million women who many need a different kind of underwear this underwear is for you. It’s slim and fit so wearing it is no big deal.  Get a free sample of Depend at Underwareness.com.

I am a champion of positive self-image for women and what I love about my new Depend underwear is it makes a woman feel confident. And it’s fashionable. And you can’t tell I have it on.  The cotton-like fabric feels great. And it’s so soft. This product shows women you can still look and feel fabulous. Just like our economy will when I’m elected.

[Former President Bill Clinton enters the server room. He is dressed in a bathrobe]

Bill:  Honey we’re out of beer.

Hillary:  No we’re not. There’s cans of Schlitz in the bottom of the fridge.

Bill: Okay. I’ll look again.

[He leaves]

Hillary: Men!  They are helpless without us. Am I right sisters?  And when I’m elected America will never be helpless again because my strong hand and Depend underwear will keep us strong, secure and leak free.  Just like my email server.

[Hillary looks at her server and frowns]

Hillary: What’s this?  A denial of service attack? Oh those wacky Russians. What will they think of next. But I’m not worried.  I’m secure and leak-free. Thanks to my anti-virus and my Depend undergarments.

I’m Hillary Clinton and I approved this message.

Hey, if it pays the bills I say go with the flow.

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