My Exclusive Interview With George Lopez

Ay Carumba!

Ay Carumba!

Today at Manhattan Infidel I have the pleasure of interviewing the massively popular television star George Lopez.

MI: Good afternoon Mr. Lopez.

GL: Good afternoon. Are you feeling the Bern?

MI: No, sorry. I’m not a supporter of Bernie Sanders.

GL: What the hell’s wrong with you?  Don’t you think the rich should pay more taxes?

MI: Actually I think the IRS should be abolished, as well as the 16th and 17th amendments.

GL: What?  I can’t believe what I’m hearing? Abolish the right of our government to take our income? You’re a climate change denier also, aren’t you?  Figures.

MI:  I don’t see the connection.  I believe the government has no right to take my income. It’s robbery by any other name.  The United States had no direct income tax until 1913 and we did pretty well.

GL: You white people make me sick!

MI: What’s race got to do with this?

GL: Do you know what taxes pay for?  A welfare safety net that my people need! I don’t expect a rich, white oppressor pig like you to understand.

MI:I ‘m neither rich nor an oppressor.  That’s a stereotype.  I thought that peoples of color such as you would not engage in racial stereotypes.

GL: Whatever whitey.

MI: Let’s talk about your support for Bernie Sanders.

GL: Yes! I am totally feeling the Bern! I’ll support him forever. 

MI: You know he will raise taxes on the rich.

GL: I know. I can’t afford to pay any more taxes. But we’ll figure it out.

MI: How so?

GL: I believe the rich should pay more taxes. But I don’t mean me or my filthy rich colleagues in Hollywood. So I propose having those less wealthy than me pay their fare share. Let’s get those making 250,000 to a million a year pay more taxes. 

MI:  Why shouldn’t you pay more taxes?

GL: Listen whitey, I’m a well-known Mexican.  I’m a role model.  As a role model I need to live a certain lifestyle.  I can’t do that if I’m paying more taxes.

MI: So you’ll support Bernie but only if he raises other people’s taxes?

GL: Exactly.

MI: Right.  Let’s move on.  What do you like about America?

GL: I like living among white people in a quiet, crime-free white neighborhood.

MI: Pardon me?

GL: Have you ever been to a Hispanic neighborhood?

MI: Actually I live in one in Manhattan.

GL: Then you know what I am talking about.  I was in Mexico once. Noisy, polluted, violent.  Nothing but f*cking Mexicans everywhere.

MI: Um.

GL: Thank god I grew up in the United States of America. A land of opportunity where a Mexican like me can live in a white neighborhood and have other people’s taxes raised.

MI: Well that’s about all the time we have.

GL: ¡Andale! ¡Andale! ¡Arriba! ¡Arriba! ¡Yii-hah!

MI: What?

GL: Feel the Bern!  Raise taxes on the wealthy. But not the very wealthy. Death to the white oppressor. But not in my neighborhood.

And so ended my interview with the socially conscious George Lopez, well-known Mexican-American who wants to raise taxes, as long as it doesn’t affect his income or his ability to live in a crime-free, gated, lily-white community.



3 Responses

  1. petermc3 says:

    Hey MI, next time you have to go Mexican, please interview Selma Hayek. She’s a lot easier on the eyes.

  2. Petermc3 says:

    My compliments MI, you still the bomb yo. How the hell did I miss that one?

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