Spock Renounces Vulcan Citizenship


To raise taxes on the productive class is highly illogical

To raise taxes on the productive class is highly illogical

Following in the footsteps of Gerard Depardieu and Tina Turner, both of whom recently renounced their citizenship with their birth countries, Commander Spock of Star Fleet announced today that he is renouncing his Vulcan citizenship.

“My taxes are too high” said Spock.

To tax me at such a rate makes no sense.  It discourages growth and stalls the economy which I need not remind people is highly illogical.

Upon hearing of Commander Spock’s decision, the Vulcan High Command wished him well while at the same time releasing a statement that could be construed as criticizing the famous Vulcan:

We at the Vulcan High Command are naturally disappointed with Commander Spock’s decision.  Yet the decision is his to make.   For him to remain a citizen when he believes that such citizenship is not in his best interest is, to say the least, illogical.  Yet we must point out that his taxes are no higher than the average Vulcan.  We on Vulcan accept our tax rate as a logical way to pay for our social welfare state.  Perhaps Commander Spock has lost sight of the many benefits of our system. 

As for Spock, he will become an American citizen with his “home base” located in Brownsville, Texas.

“I have come to admire the Texan way of life” said Spock.

Taxes are low.  The economy is thriving and I don’t have to register my phaser, which I remind people can be quite a useful instrument of self-defense.  On Vulcan all weapons are owned by the State.  How can the State having a monopoly in ownership of weapons be logical?  How can a free people survive under that system?

While those are Spock’s official reasons for the change in residence many believe he had another motive.

“Spock’s got ‘Brown Fever’ if you know what I mean” said a friend of the Commander who wishes to remain anonymous. “That’s why he’s moving to Texas.”

It all started when he saw a Selma Hayek movie. He became obsessed with her. 

To desire carnal relations with this woman is highly logical

To desire carnal relations with this woman is highly logical

He told me, and these were his exact words, ‘There seems to be a cause and effect relationship between this woman and the flow of blood to my penis.  Fascinating. To desire to mate with this woman is highly logical.’ “

When asked why he didn’t just move to Mexico his friend said,

He’s horny.  Not stupid.  Mexico is dangerous.  By living just over the border in Brownsville he can easily move back and forth while living in the relative safety of Texas.  A very logical move. 

While many are critical of Spock’s decision to move to Texas to pursue Ms. Hayek, his former commanding officer Captain James T. Kirk is supportive.

Any help he needs to find Selma I will provide, even if I have to track her down myself.  I am gonna Pon Farr the crap out of the Mexicans.

Ms. Hayek could not be reached for comment.


6 Responses

  1. BROWNSVILLE??? Are you kidding me? The great Spock chose Borwnsville? What has he been smoking? Just a few miles further and he could paas the rest of his life with Salma in the River Walk area of San Antonio where the resturants are great, there are fabulous golf courses near by, and there are grea t jazz clubs. Bownsville is a shit hole!!!

  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Jim: You are reacting in a typical emotional human fashion.

  3. After seeing that pic of Ms. Hayek, I’ve got a nasty case of the Pon Farr as well.

    Live long and prosper in Salma’s…errrr…Hayek, Mister Spock.

  4. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Shamus: This is quite logical. Are you sure you’re not part Vulcan?

  5. Mark says:

    I would kill my captain and my friend for Selma Hayek.

  6. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Mark: Logical. Flawlessly logical.

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