My Exclusive Interview with Marco Rubio

I am suspending my campaign to lose the nomination

I am suspending my campaign to lose the nomination

It was another interesting Tuesday in the Presidential race of 2016.  So tonight I’d like to welcome to my blog the distinguished junior senator from Florida, Marco Rubio.

MI: Good afternoon Senator Rubio.

MR: Good afternoon Manhattan Infidel.

MI: It’s a pleasure to have you here.  Many of my readers are political junkies and I understand that you have a political announcement that you would like to share with my readers.

MR: That is correct.  I am announcing that I am suspending my campaign for President.

MI: What?

MR:  I am suspending my campaign for President of the United States.

MI: Wait.  You were running for President?

MR: Um. Yes.

MI: Did you win any primaries?  Delegates?

MR: Um.  No.

MI: Oh.  So what’s next for Marco Rubio?

MR:Well for starters I will continue to serve the people of the state of Florida – 

[Lucille Ball enters] 

RIcky please let me sing at the club!

RIcky please let me sing at the club!

LB: Ricky please let me sing at the club!

MR:  I think you have me confused with another Hispanic.

LB: Ricky!  Ricky!  Why can’t I go down to the club with you?

MR:  Lady for the last time you have me confused with someone else.

LB:  Ricky!

MR: Dammit Lucy you have some ‘splaining to do!

[Lucille Ball leaves]

MI: Well that was odd.

MR:  Tell me about it. She’s been following me around.  Do we all look alike to you?

MI: Yeah.

MR: Oh.  That’s good to  – 

[John Kasich enters] 

People dislike me because of my principals. What?

People dislike me because of my principles. What?

JK: Manhattan Infidel don’t talk to Ted Cruz!

MR: I’m Marco dammit!

JK: Oh, well you all look alike to me.

MR: So I’ve heard.

JK: Manhattan Infidel why doesn’t anyone like me?

MI: Probably because you’re an asshole?

JK: Really? Is that true Ted?

MR: It’s Marco dammit and yes it’s true.  You are an asshole.

JK: I thought it was because of my principled political positions.

[Manhattan Infidel and Marco Rubio start laughing]

JK: Well it was worth a try.

[Kasich leaves]

MI: Thank you for meeting with me Marco that’s about all the time I have.

[Ted Cruz enters] 

Don't talk to Ricky!

Don’t talk to Ricky!

TC: Manhattan Infidel don’t talk to Ricky Ricardo!

MR:  Dammit I’m Marco!  Marco!  Marco!

TC and MI: Polo!

MR:  Ah the hell with it.  I’m out of here.

[Marco Rubio leaves] 

TC: Where did Ricky go?

MI: I don’t know.  I think he went to stop Lucy from singing down at the club.

TC:  Good for him. Women should not sing at club.

[Mark Sanchez enters] 

Anybody need a quarterback?

Anybody need a quarterback?

MS: Hey any of you guys need a quarterback?

MI and TC: Go away Ricky!

MS:  That does it I’m going down to the club.

And so ended my bizarre interview with Ted Cruz, John Kasich and two people who may have been Ricky Ricardo.



4 Responses

  1. Petermc3 says:

    Fred and Ethel voted for Trump.

  2. LSP says:

    That was helpful. And now Rat Claw Rubio is off the ticket. Thank you, Lucille Ball, well done.

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