Batman vs Superman: Another Deleted Scene

Do you have any change?

Do you have any change?

Last week I gave my readers an exclusive sneak peak at a deleted scene from the upcoming Batman vs Superman movie. The post was such a success I have decided to follow it up with yet another deleted scene.  Enjoy and pass the popcorn.

The scene: A busy Gotham laundromat late at night.  Batman is watching his clothes go through the rinse cycle when Superman shows up, carrying his laundry in a basket.

Batman: [Seeing Superman] Hey. What’s up.

Superman: Not much.  Laundry day.

Batman: Yeah.  I hear you. I used to have Robin do it but since I laid him off I do it myself.

Superman: So I heard.

Batman: Yeah, he was whining about his evaluation.  Said he needed a raise.  I told him that times were tough and we all have to tighten our utility belts. He didn’t like my answer so we agreed to part ways.

Superman: Where’s he working now?

Batman:  Last I heard he took a job at a call center.

Superman: Well he has a good phone voice. 

Batman: What? How would you know?

Superman: We’ve had, um, phone conversations. Late at night. After a few drinks. When I’m lonely. Listen I have to ask you – how do you keep the colors from running when you do laundry?

Batman: It’s simple. Separate your loads into light and dark items.  Also you want to minimize friction. You know, turn items inside out, zip up zippers.  Standard stuff really. Didn’t you do laundry on Krypton?

Superman: No. We had the underclass do it. They loved serving us.

Batman: Yeah, I bet.

Superman: Hey, all I have is a five.  Spot me some change?

Batman: No.  I don’t have any change.

Superman: What?

Batman: I said I have no change.

Superman: Bullshit. You have a change dispenser on your utility belt.

Batman: I’m not giving you any change. If you were going to do your laundry you should have brought some change with you.

Superman: No?  What do you mean no. Some f*cking friend you are.

Batman:  You have to learn Clark. Every time you come to the laundry you have no change and you have your goddamn head up your ass.

Superman: You’re a f*cking bastard.

Batman: Listen Clark. This is this.  This isn’t something else. This is this. From now on you’re on your own.

Superman: I fixed you up a million times!  I fixed you up a millions times with girls. And nothing every happens. Zero.  You know you’re trouble, Bruce, since we are using first names now. No one ever knows what the hell you are talking about.  This is this?  What the hell does that mean?  All I want is some f*cking change to do my laundry. This is this.  This is this? I’m not setting you up with any more women.

Batman: I’m not giving you any change.

Superman: F*ck you asshole.

[The laundromat manager comes over]

Manager: Hey knock it off guys. Or your both out of here.

Batman: He has no change. I’m not giving him mine.

Manager:  Why the hell not?  You have a change dispenser in your utility belt.

Batman: I’m not giving him any change. That’s final.

Superman: Asshole!

Manager: Here, Superman. I have some change. Take my change. 

[He gives Superman five dollars worth of quarters]

Manager: [To Batman] What’s the matter with you?

Batman: I’m Batman!

Once again, a compelling scene that I wish they have left in the final cut.  It proves that Batman takes two things seriously:  Fighting crime and bringing change to a laundromat.


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