The Gospel of Barack Obama According to Chris Matthews (Part II)

And Barack shineth in the darkness

And Barack shineth in the darkness

And the third day there was a marriage in Georgetown and the mother of Barack was there.

And Barack was also invited, and his disciples in the Mainstream Media, to the marriage.

And the wine failing the mother of Barack saith to him: They have no wine.

And Barack saith to her: Woman, what is that to thee and to me?  Has this wine been supplied by the Federal government?

His mother saith to the union-backed waiters:  Whatever he shall say to you, do ye, after your break if ye must.  Or if it’s not your job find someone else and have them do what he says.

Now there were set lots and lots and lots of bottles of wine, this being an elite wedding,

Barack saith unto the nonunion busboys:  Fill the plastic environmentally friendly water bottles with water.  And the busboys did as he asked, being in need of green cards.

And Barack saith to them:  Draw out now and carry to the union waiters.  And the busboys did while grumbling that the man is a taskmaster.

And the party goers tasted the water and called Barack over.

And saith to him:  What is this shit? Thou hast given us bottled water and not wine.

And Barack did say:  If you like your wine, you can keep your wine.  But really, water is much greener.  We didn’t have to kill grapes to make it.

This beginning of the miracles of redistribution Barack did in Georgetown; and manifested his socialist glory, and the mainstream media did believe in him.

And the pasch of  the Jews was at hand, and Barack did not call the Israeli prime minister though he did call for a two-state solution.

And he found in the Capitol them that called themselves “teabaggers” who believed in limited government.

And when he made, as it were, a scourge of little cords, he drove the teabaggers out of the Capitol building and the Constitution he did overthrow.

And to the teabaggers he said:  Make not America a place of limited government with low taxes.

And his disciples in the mainstream media remembered that is is written: The zeal of socialist redistribution hath consumed me.

The teabaggers answered, and said to him: What sign dost thou show us, and where do you get the authority to unilaterally declare which laws will be followed and which not?

Barack answered, and said unto them:  Thou art stupid.  Destroy the Constitution and in three days I will write a better one, for I am a constitutional scholar.

The teabaggers said:  Two hundred and twenty four years was this Constitution ours and wilt thou write another one in three days?

But Barack spoke of the Constitution of Redistribution.

When he was risen again from the dead, his disciples in the mainstream media remembered that he had said this and they believed in socialism and the word of Barack.

Now when he was at the Capitol many believed in his name, seeing the power of redistribution around him.

But Barack did not trust himself unto them, for that he knew all men.

And because he needed not that any should give testimony of man; for he knew what limited government was to man.

(to be continued.)


One Response

  1. bob agard says:

    Man, this sounds downright Scriptural! By the way, who got married? Linked here:

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