I like hot cocoa except when it burns my throat

With there being much confusion regarding the Affordable Care Act (Is the website working, has my insurance company received my payment, when is the deadline) the Obama administration rolled out a new ad featuring the so-called “Pajama Boy” that was supposed to get people talking.  The ad was unsuccessful and Pajama Boy was roundly mocked.

Being a fair man except when drunk and/or on a hallucinogenic and/or chaining Olivia Wilde up in my basement I decided to let Pajama Boy tell his story.

MI: Good morning Pajama Boy

PB: Is it morning?  I should go back to sleep.

MI: I didn’t mean that literally.  It’s the afternoon.

PB: Oh good.  I can watch Steve Harvey and Ellen DeGeneres.

MI: So tell me, why did you agree to pose for the ad for the Affordable Care Act?

PB: My mother said I had to or she wouldn’t make my bed.

MI: I see.  And you always do what your mother tells you?

PB: Yes.  I love my mother.  She makes me dinner.

MI: So I take it you still live at home?

PB: Of course. Don’t all boys live at home?

MI: Boys yes.  But at a certain age you become a man and move out and get your own place.

PB:  Your own place?  But who tucks you in at night.

MI: A woman.

PB: My mother’s a woman.

MI: A lover.

PB: I love my mother.

MI: Okay let’s try another track.  What do you do for a living?

PB: Living?

MI: Yes.  What is your job?  Your vocation?

PB: I don’t have a job.  It’s not that I don’t want to work it’s just that all the jobs out there don’t appeal to me.  I had a job once and people were mean to me and told me to do stuff I didn’t want to do.

MI: Yes.  That’s a job.

PB: Well I don’t like it.  Why can’t I be paid for sitting at home in front of my computer. No one is mean to me then.

MI: How did you – 

PB: Ouch!  Ouch!  Ouch!

MI: What happened?  What’s wrong?

PB: I burned the roof of my mouth on this hot chocolate!  It hurts!  It hurts!  Make it better!

MI: What?  I don’t –

PB: Make it better!

MI: I don’t know.  Suck on an ice cube or something.

PB: I don’t like you.  You’re mean!  You see!  This is why I need the affordable care act! Oh god the roof of my mouth!  It burns!  It burns!

MI:  Do you want me to call a doctor?

PB:  I don’t have insurance.  This is an emergency!  I need help!

MI: It’s not an emergency.

PB:  Get out!  Get out! You brute!  You manly brute!  I just want to cry.  Mom!

And so I left Pajama Boy and his burned mouth.  Hopefully his mother took care of him and made it all better.

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