Selfie-Gate Explodes!

I have a lot in common with Nelson Mandela.

I have a lot in common with Nelson Mandela.

During his trip to South Africa for Nelson Mandela’s funeral, President Obama posed for a selfie with British PM David Cameron and Dutch PM Helle Thorning-Schmidt.  As the first lady sat sullenly, the President laughed with the two world leaders and took pictures of himself while the rest of the world mourned.

The pictures have ignited a firestorm with many criticizing Obama.

“Why do Cameron and Obama feel the need to behave like idiots” declared the British Daily Telegraph.

Aware of the crisis that threatens his presidency, President Obama has come to his own defense:

There’s been a lot of talk in the news about my so-called unbecoming behavior at Nelson Mandela’s funeral.   It’s all partisan nonsense.   Nelson Mandela stood for integration.  And there I was.  At his funeral.  Sitting next to a white woman!  A blonde white woman!  Hoo yay baby.  You could cut the sexual tension with a knife. So yeah, I flirted with her.  Mandela would have been proud.  I even took some selfies with her. Those weren’t the only selfies I took, if you know what I mean. When she got back to her hotel room she was treated to a few I took in private.  

I don’t understand what the big deal is?  I think Republicans just hate the fact that a black man can sit down next a pretty blonde girl in public and not get arrested for it. Selfies are nothing new.  If the technology existed would Ulysses S. Grant have taken a selfie when Lee surrendered to him at Appomattox Court House?  Would Jesus have taken a selfie of himself on the cross? If the two were as important as I am you bet they would have.  That’s what it’s all about.  Documenting my transformational presidency. Documenting the life of the most important person ever to walk the face of the Earth.

What the Republicans are doing by focusing on a few unimportant pictures is taking away from Mandela’s heritage.  I wouldn’t be president if it weren’t for Nelson Mandela.  We have a lot in common, Nelson and I.

Mandela spent 27 years in prison.  I am married to Michelle.

Nelson Mandela went to jail.  I am married to Michelle.

Nelson Mandela went to jail. I am married to Michelle.

Mandela fought an oppressive apartheid regime.  I am married to Michelle.

Mandela ain't got nothing on this!

Mandela ain’t got nothing on this!

 Mandela fought for the rights of his people.  I am married to Michelle.

Michelle Obama is the personification of apartheid.

Michelle Obama is the personification of apartheid.

 You get the picture.

Can I help it if I’m so damn sexy that women want to have their picture taken with me?  It all comes with the territory for being transformational.  

So Republicans lay off, will ya and enter the 21st century.

Unrepentant to the last, President Obama has said that he will take even more pictures of himself at funerals of world leaders, “God permitting.”

“The Queen’s old, right? I mean she has to die soon” said the president.  “I can’t wait to see that sexy Dutch PM again!”



2 Responses

  1. petermc3 says:

    It has been reported that Dutch PM Helle Thorning-Schmidt, in a Tim Matthews moment, was seen wiping mayonaise from her leg. Michelle snickered and sneered knowing her man be liken’ Miracle Whip on his taco.

  2. I say give the guy a break. He is, after all, married to Michelle and will soon be singing soprano.

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