New ObamaCare Ad Caters to Women

I have blisters on my vagina!

I have blisters on my vagina!

While problems persist with the Healthcare.Gov web site, the Obama administration has launched a new series of ads promoting the Affordable Care Act that target a core Democratic constituency: women.

“We are not Republicans” said DNC Vice Chair Raymond Buckley.

We do not have a war against woman.  We care about women.  Especially their orgasms.  A woman’s orgasm is a sacred thing.  At least it looks that way on the videos I download.  Anyway, what was I saying?  Oh yes.  No war on women here. We love the female orgasm.  And that’s why we have crafted some ads for Obamacare that cater to the important orgasm-loving female demographic.

In the first ad released a woman is seen lusting after a young man and saying “I hope he’s as easy to get as this birth control!”

We’ll be creating a bunch of these ads and making them into a story.  You know, like that coffee ad from a few years ago.  I don’t drink coffee myself.  It’s a racist drink but the commercials were nice.

Here at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel we have been lucky enough to view the rest of the commercials in the series.

In the second commercial, entitled “The Next Morning” the young woman wakes up in bed to find the man from the first ad sleeping next to her.  She celebrates her sexuality.  Looking at the sleeping man next to her she says:

Oh my god.  I’m at his place.  And he snored and farted all night. Now I just want to get out of here, take a shower and wash the shame of the man stink off me.  I think I had an orgasm last night and that I was in charge of it. But I can’t be sure.  I was so drunk. But thank god I used this easy-to-buy birth control courtesy of the Affordable Care Act.

In the third commercial called “How About Another Round” the man wakes up and asks the women for “sloppy seconds” to which the woman consents.

“I don’t even know his name” she says.

And he has a suspicious growth on his penis. But he says he’s clean and if you can’t trust a naked man who can you trust?  Sure let’s do sloppy seconds.  What’s  a rusty trombone?  Video tape it?  Sure why not.  

The fourth commercial in the series is called “Let’s Get our Group On!”

The woman, having been plied with more alcohol by the mystery man is chained to his bed as his frat buddies take turns penetrating her orifices.

“I am a strong independent woman celebrating my sexuality” she says over and over.

I don’t even want to know your names.  As long as you are all Democrats this is totally consensual.  And what’s that burning sensation I’m feeling?

The last ad in the series is called “No Regrets” and takes place a few months after our heroines’s one-night stand.

Coming out of a health clinic the young lady looks at the camera and says:

I have genital herpes.  But I have no regrets.  Having drunken group sex with strangers is what makes me a modern woman.  And thanks to the Affordable Care Act I can get my herpes medicine free of charge.  And my abortion was covered as well!  Thank you President Obama!

“This is what separates us from the Republicans” said Buckley.

Would the Republicans have made these commercials?  No.  And do you know why? They hate women!

The commercials are scheduled to begin airing in January.



2 Responses

  1. That fluking fluke, Sandra Fluke, sure fluked things up for us “conservative men. We’ll never get fluked again.

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