Kanye West: Blacks Don’t Have the Same Connections Klingons Do!

Klingons own all the oil!

Klingons own all the oil!

Controversial rapper and husband of Kim Kardashian, Kanye West, has again made news, this time with his comments that black people lack access.

“It’s true” said West.

We don’t got it like that.  There are only seven black billionaires.  Well, non rapping or sports billionaires that is.  And while making billions rapping or playing sports is fine that don’t get us no access.  Let me tell you about George Bush and oil money. Black people don’t got no oil money. Bush has it.

We don’t got nobody that got a nice house.  You know we ain’t in situation, baby. We got no house and no connections.  You know else has access?  Klingons!  That’s right.  That mutha Worf got him some access.

Klingons have nice houses baby.  I was watching Star Trek on my new 72 inch flat screen.  Yeah, that’s right muthers.  A black man has a 72 inch flat screen.  Gonna say anything about it?  Anyway I was watching Star Trek and those floppy forehead ridged bastards have some nice houses.  The house of D’Ghor.  The house of Grilka. The house of Kor.  The house of Martok.  These people had access.  Their houses ruled planetary systems.  They controlled the oil money.

How do you think Worf got into Star Fleet?  Mutha had access.  How do you think he ended up dating a Betazoid? Do you think Deanna Troi would look at me?  do you think she’d date a black man?  No. Do you know why?  She’s racist and black people don’t have no access.  Not like Jews. And Klingons.

I challenge those Klingon muthas.  Give me some of your muthanigga access!

From the House of Martok, the Clan leader Martok

Kanye West has no honor!

Kanye West has no honor!

himself had some choice words for Kanye.

“Kanye West has no honor.”

He attacks my house without cause.  He says we are oil barons.  The House of Martok has a long and proud environmental history.  We introduced CFL lightbulbs to the Klingon homeworld.  The House of Martok was instrumental in developing wind farms.  We are not oil robber barons.  I myself an not high-born.  I come from the Ketha lowlands on Qo’noS. The high council did not want me as Chancellor because I am a common man from the lowlands.  And Kanye West accuses me of having access and oil money?  Is this because I slept with that Betazoid? I shall kill West with a Bat’leth!

West has turned down the offer to fight Martok.

“He got the cops on his side.  What chance does a nigga stand?  Even the muthanigga Ferengis got more access than me.”

From the home planet of Feringar, the Grand Negus Zek dismissed West’s comments.

“It’s the 287th Rule of Acquisition.  Don’t give Kanye West access.  The mother’s insane.”


6 Responses

  1. petermc3 says:

    Wat about whitey access yo? Youses gots da white booty da ho’s and the b’s. Alls we gots is da FOX news pussy and Rachel Maddow yo. But den de black man don’t swims so good cause of da ankles yo. And den youse got’s us crackers speaking ebonics on blog sites yo. Wad up aid dat?

  2. Kayne West sounds like one of those cry baby Republicans. Republicans don’t deserve access. Democrats want to let Klingons immigrate here freely. The next thing you know we’ll have a Klingon President. Then no one will have any access.

  3. petermc3 says:

    We got a dingleberry for a president now so why not a klingon?

  4. Matt says:

    Wait till Kanye figures out that Taylor Swift is a shape shifter!

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