Martin Bashir Resigns From MSNBC

I am resigning to spend more time with my family. And because my ratings sucked.

I am resigning to spend more time with my family. And because my ratings sucked.

Martin Bashir has tendered his resignation to MSNBC and will no longer host his self-titled program.

“It’s true.  I will no longer be working at MSNBC” said Bashir.

Upon further reflection, and after meeting with the president of MSNBC, I have tendered my resignation.  At least I think it was the president of MSNBC.  Whomever it was I met with was carrying a mop and emptying the wastebaskets.  You know, it had to have been the president.  MSNBC is s progressive organization filled with liberals in good standing.  That means we represent the common man.  And by representing the common man we aren’t afraid of performing menial, common tasks that usually would be beneath us, like emptying the wastebaskets.  Though when I told him I was resigning he claimed he didn’t know me and said, “Please don’t hurt me I have a family” and gave me his wallet.  I guess he was redistributing his income, which is something all the elite strongly believe in.

The president of MSNBC, Phil Griffin, released the following statement:

Martin Bashir resigned today, effective immediately. I understand his decision and I thank him for three great years with MSNBC.  Wait a minute.  Three years? He was with us for three years? Doing what?  Hosting a show? You mean he was on the air? I thought he was the guy with the mop who emptied the wastebaskets.  You know, the one who kept asking us not to hurt him because he had a family.

Bashir had been in a firestorm of late after his comments suggesting that someone should urinate and defecate in Sarah Palin’s mouth, though people on the inside deny that is why he resigned.

“He simply wasn’t getting the ratings” said an anonymous source.

But fire him for saying that someone should urinate and defecate in Sarah Palin’s mouth?  Why that’s something the elite strongly believe in.  We’re into redistribution and we want to redistribute our urine and feces into her mouth.  What’s wrong with that?

As to what is next for Bashir, once he returns from his vacation in Alaska rumor has it that he will have a new reality show on VH1 called “Real Fired Anchors of MSNBC.”

“We are very excited to have Martin on board” said the president of VH1.

This is going to be a fantastic show.  Martin will be in it, as well as Alec Baldwin. We’re trying to get Keith Olbermann too but he said he would only come on board if he could urinate and defecate in Sarah Palin’s mouth, which is something we as the elite strongly believe in.

The new reality show will begin airing on VH1 in the Spring.



4 Responses

  1. Sammy Stone says:

    Martin Bashir’s next move is to expose this cruel dominatrix who openly says she’s looking for “a slave boy.”

  2. Petermc3 says:

    Wasn’t it her poops they found smeared on Tawana Brawley?

  3. What can I say. The Left are such intellects. We knuckle draggers will never be able to match their wit, their keen perception, or their cleverly apt expressions.

  4. bob agard says:

    Once again MI has scooped the rest of the media with news of the new VH1 show. Linked here:

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