Today found your humble blogger in Chicago as I rooted on my team against the tough Chicago White Sox, who had beaten the Yankees in the first three games of this four game series.

Would the Yankees get swept?  Would civilization collapse?  Would beers be cheaper at U.S. Cellular Field? (They weren’t much to my chagrin.)

It promised to be a  pitcher’s match as the White Sox started Mark Buehrle in just his second start since his perfect game and his first at U.S. Cellular field.  U.S. Cellular field being named after, of course, U.S. Grant. The Yankees countered with CC Sabathia, who has never pitched a perfect game, but has eaten many a perfect hot dog.

Well, it wasn’t a pitchers duel.  Buehrle gave up three runs in the second inning thanks to a Melky Cabrera home run.  3 – 0 Yankees after 1 1/2.  Not to be outdone, CC gave up four runs in the bottom of the third thanks to back to back home runs from Jermaine Dye and Jim “not outed as a steroid cheat…yet” Thome.  This displeased Yankee Manager Joe “I’m so fired if we don’t make the playoffs” Girardi who went out to the mound for a strategy session.  What was said?  Rumor has it Girardi told CC that if he gave up another home run he would have no postgame hot dogs.  Well, this did the trick.  A frightened and chastised Sabathia struck out Paul Konerko.  Carlos Quentin ended the inning when he was thrown out trying to stretch a single into a double.  4 -3 White Sox after 3.

The Yankee came back with two in the fourth thanks to a double by Melky and a single by Jose Molina followed by singles from Jeter and Damon.    5 -4 Yankees after four.

The Yankees scored two more in the fifth inning.  A Melky single scored AROD.  A Hairston single scored Nick Swisher.  7 -4 Yankees after five.  Swisher, who used to play for the White Sox was booed unmercifully by the fans.  Which brings up a side note.  This was the first time I had seen the Yankees play in their road grays.  I wore my Yankee cap and jersey and was also booed by the White Sox fans.  I haven’t felt so unwanted and unloved since, well, since my last eHarmony date.

But I digress.  Back to the game.  The score stayed at 7 -4 until the bottom of the eighth when Gordon “I bent it like Beckham and had to go to the emergency room” Beckham scored on a Chris Getz single.  7 -5 after eight.

Girardi brought in “Filthy” Phil Hughes to pitch the eighth.  Unfortunately Girardi had a relapse of Joe Torre disease and brought in Rivera to get four outs.  It was Rivera who allowed the 5th White Sox run.

In the ninth the Yankees scored when a Derek Jeter single brought in Melky Cabrera after his triple.  In the bottom of the ninth Rivera got the save despite giving a walk to pinch hitter A.J. Pierzynski and a fielder’s choice to Scott Podsednik.  So CC got his 11th win and Rivera his 30th save.

Notes on the game:

The White Sox brought out the Doobie Brothers to sing the National Anthem. Doobie brothers eh? Well,  the Yankees have that funny looking Irishman with no legs.  Advantage…….White Sox unfortunately.

The White Sox have attractive young women in knee-high socks throw t-shirts to the fans.  The Yankees have security personnel beat up fans and opposing team broadcasters.  Advantage…..White Sox unfortunately.

Melky Cabrera became the first Yankee in 14 years to hit for the cycle.

Best heckle of the game.  Well, I was in enemy territory so I did not dare try one……at first anyway.  But by midgame I shouted “White Sox suck!” and then pointed to a young fan in the row in front of me wearing a Yankee jersey while saying “He said it!”  The fan was beaten up.  I probably should have helped him but it’s time the kid learned life isn’t all shits and giggles.

Reader mail:

M.W. of California writes, “Get me the butter!”

Um………I told you not to watch those ’70s movies M.W.  They’ll corrupt you.

“Joe”, though I doubt that’s his real name writes, “I just came from Wisconson.  I’m a stranger in a strange land.  Go Yankees!”

You can root for the Yankees all you want “Joe” but I’m not giving you your wallet back.

L.K. of New Jersey writes  “Psst…..I have some organs I just harvested……you want some?”

We’ll talk later L.K.

D.B also of New Jersey writes “Where the hell is my liver?”

It’s going to a good cause.

Recommended reading material:  Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez.

So this year my record stands at a very impressive 8 -1.  My next Yankee game is this Friday August 7th against the abomination of desolation….that team that plays five hours northeast on I-95…….that team that polite people do not talk about.

Will my record go to 9 -1?  Will the Yankees be able to finally beat that team?  Will David Ortiz explode at home plate from a steroid overdose?  Will Lassie finally turn on his human masters and eat Timmy?  Tune in and find out.

Go Yankees!

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