Lou Grant, Producer of WJM-TV’s 6 o’clock news was arrested today by local authorities for the murder of anchorman Ted Baxter. Baxter’s disappearance last winter became front page headlines.  Many speculated that perhaps he had run off with long-time girlfriend Georgette Franklin or that he had taken a job at MSNBC.  The truth was much […]

As contact  with the Jupiter II space craft carrying the Robinson family was lost, and the ship presumed to be hurtling through unknown regions of space, Alpha Control has admitted that any chance of colonizing habitable planets around Alpha Centauri is gone. “We screwed up big time” said a spokesman for Alpha Control.  “I mean, […]

After a lengthy review of their actions, the LAPD has suspended without pay controversial policemen Sargent Joe Friday and his partner Bill Gannon. “This is a kinder, gentler LAPD” said Chief Charlie Beck.  “We are trying to improve our image with the immigrant community and those two certainly don’t help our case.” The two first […]

After three years of painstaking remastering using the latest technology, the tapes sent to Impossible Missions agent Jim Phelps have been declassified and are now available to the general public. “It took us longer than expected” said the technician in charge of the project.  “Most of the tapes had been doused in acid, burned, blown […]

Jean-Luc Picard, Captain of the Starship Enterprise was unsuccessful today in an attempt to sync his contacts with his new Starfleet-issued Comm Badge. Reports indicate that the trouble started when Picard picked up his new comm badge and tried to use it without first reading the instructions. Picard:  At last, my new comm badge.  I […]

Popular television personality Howdy Doody was released on his own recognizance this morning after an altercation with police the previous evening. Mr. Doody arrived at the T & A Strip Club shortly before 11 PM.  Surrounded by his posse Doody took a booth in the back and invited dancers over for private sessions.  According to […]

Mayor McCheese, long-time mayor of McDonaldland was indicted today on charges of money laundering, witness tampering, fraud, conspiracy to avoid paying income tax, conspiracy to tamper with election results and conspiracy to remove a tag from a mattress. The indictments, unsealed today are the result of  a year-long wiretapping of Mayor McCheese’s offices in City […]

Gor Khan, a 37 year old Klingon working at a local suicide prevention hotline has been fired after it was discovered that his “call disposition” actually led to suicides. “I blame myself for hiring him” said supervisor Greg Hughes.  “He seemed like he really wanted to help.  But the poor guy just didn’t have the […]

Recently I had a chance to sit down with beloved commercial spokesperson Morris the Cat, who granted me an exclusive interview. MI:  Morris I know you don’t often give interviews so I thank you for your time.  What is a typical day in the life of Morris the Cat? Morris:  Well you know many people […]

The Greatest Story Ever Told, the 1965 blockbuster starring Max von Sydow as Jesus is going to be remade. “It won’t be just any Jesus movie” said a Hollywood executive. “It’s going to be the edgiest, hippest, greenest Jesus movie ever.” Among the differences between the original and the new version:  In this version Jesus […]