By now we’ve all seen the popular Dos Equis commercials featuring a distinguished older gentlemen.  The commercials purport to show scenes from his adventurous life.  But is it true?  Can we trust the ads?  In my insatiable quest for  naked Asian women the truth I set out to discover the facts. Armed only with a […]

Bozo the Clown, beloved to generations of children around the globe died today after a shootout with police.  The end came for Bozo at 3:22 P.M. when a SWAT team opened fire on his hideout.  Bozo was cut down in a fusillade of bullets, ending an eight-hour rampage of terror. At approximately 7:30 AM a […]

To celebrate its 15th anniversary next year, James Cameron has released the new “director’s cut” of his movie. “It was time to show the world the movie I intended to make.  The movie that should have been made before ‘the suits’ at the studio destroyed my vision” said Cameron. While the two versions are mostly […]

Lieutenant Commander Data Star Ship Enterprise Dear Commander Data: Thank you for ordering our new and improved model 2300 Android Emotion Chip.  We here at Android Emotion Enterprises value your loyalty and continued business. We acknowledge the design flaws with the 2200 series Android Emotion Chip and apologize for any distress it may have caused […]

Chewbacca, arguably the most famous wookie in the universe, put to rest today rumors about himself by announcing that he is gay. “Throughout my life I have grappled with my own identity” began Chewbacca’s statement. As a young wookie I often felt ambivalent about myself.  In fact, confused.  By virtue of wookie traditions I worked […]

The Dalai Lama the leader of the Yellow Hat branch of Tibetan Buddhism shocked his devoted followers today by announcing that “all things being equal I’m only in it for the women.” I mean, what do you expect?  I have a really boring job.  How many times can you travel around the world and shake […]

Popular sportswriter Oscar Madison was arrested today for the murder of his live-in lover, photographer (portraits a specialty) Felix Unger. Unger’s ex-wife Gloria became concerned when he would not return phone calls and informed the police that she thought he might be in trouble. I knew something was wrong.  It wasn’t like Felix not to […]

For almost 40 years, the so-called “Fantasy Island’, a resort community for the rich located in the Pacific Ocean was a top destination.  But no more.  Mr. Roarke, sole owner and proprietor of Fantasy Island has decided to close up shop. “It’s just gotten to expensive” said Roarke during an interview on CNBC.  “The maintenance […]

Tragedy struck today as the Pacific Princess, piloted by Captain Merrill Stubing went down in the Pacific, killing 1500 on board.  Initial reports indicate the the Pacific Princess, cruising in the vicinity of Hawaii’s Big Island, hit an iceberg.  Authorities are still trying to determine how the ship hit an iceberg in tropical waters. Shortly […]

With the Republicans holding their first debate it appears that another candidate might soon join them.  General Zod has announced the formation of an exploratory committee with an eye to the 2012 Republican nomination.  I was lucky enough to snag an exclusive interview with the enigmatic general after he made the announcement. MI:  General Zod […]