General Zod Forms Exploratory Committee to Determine If He Should Run for President in 2012

Kneel before Zod and check out my deficit reduction planWith the Republicans holding their first debate it appears that another candidate might soon join them.  General Zod has announced the formation of an exploratory committee with an eye to the 2012 Republican nomination.  I was lucky enough to snag an exclusive interview with the enigmatic general after he made the announcement.

MI:  General Zod thank you for meeting with me.

General Zod:  Kneel before Zod!

MI:  What?

General Zod:  I said kneel before Zod!

MI:  Oh right.  Your campaign slogan:  Kneel before Zod and check out my debt reduction plan.  Catchy.

General Zod:  Thank you.  My marketing people thought it would attract more independent voters than “Kneel before Zod and you shall live.”

MI:  Tell me about your plan to reduce our debt.

General Zod:  First off we must reign in government spending.  If elected President I would pass a constitutional amendment that makes it illegal to have budget deficits.  It would also make mandatory using 15 percent of revenues towards paying down the debt.

MI: Tell me about a General Zod presidency.  What would it be like?  How would you lead?

General Zod:  I think the American people are ready for change.  Change they can believe in.  I would use my leadership skills honed as a general to forge a coalition with moderates.  All they have to do in return is kneel before me.

MI:  I’d like to bring up the subject of your birthplace.  Many people as you know doubt you were born in the United States.  Why won’t you release your birth certificate?  Can you give any assurances to those who may vote for you that you are constitutionally eligible for the highest office in the land?

General Zod:  I’ve been through this many times before and I do not see why anyone would doubt that I was born in the United States.

MI:  Frankly many people doubt that you were born on Earth.

General Zod:  Why would they believe that?

MI:  The superhuman powers?  Flight?  Shooting laser beams from your eyes?

General Zod:  Family traits.  I come from a long line of laser beam shooters.  Standard in Hawaii actually.  Now kneel before Zod.

MI:  But why haven’t you released your long-form birth certificate?  You could end all speculation now by releasing it.

General Zod:  This is a sideshow.  Now kneel before Zod.

MI:  No.  I have to ask you again General Zod why haven’t you released your birth certificate?

General Zod:  Kneel before me!!!!

MI:  Your refusal to answer the question speaks volumes and will be noted by my readers.

General Zod:  Kneel before me!!

MI:  I thank you for your time.

General Zod:  Kneel before me!

MI:  No.

General Zod:  I said kneel before me!  Come on!  Kneel!  Please!  Oh come on.  Why won’t you kneel before me?  If you kneel before me my mom will make us sandwiches.

MI: God you are such a bitch.

General Zod:  Kneel before me.  Please? Why are you being so mean to me?

With that General Zod began to cry.  I left him there sobbing.  All I can say is I went into this interview believing he was a serious candidate.  Will General Zod run?  Now I have doubts.


6 Responses

  1. The UP infidel says:

    It’s Zod, he has surfaced. Set tazers on stun Mr. Spock.

  2. innominatus says:

    rOn PAuL is a wienie ‘cuz he says he would hot have given the order to OBL

    Mitt is a wienie ‘cuz he still wants free gov’t healthcare for bums instead of letting them die in the street

    Mitch Daniels is still waiting to see if his wife will let him use the family testicles long enough to run for prez

    And Zod is a graduate of the John Boehner School of Crying on Demand.
    Can we PLEASE get a candidate that isn’t a wussy sniveling bitch?

  3. Manhattan Infidel says:

    UP: Spock wouldn’t hurt Zod. it’s the brotherhood of alien races.

    Inn: I say “King Shamus for President!” He doesn’t cry and he’ll usher in the new era of the socialist worker’s double down paradise.

  4. There are some who say that national double down plan is too ambitious for this country. I say , “Yes, we can.”‘

    Under my proposal, everyone will have access to quality, affordable double downs. The government option would create a more fair, equitable system for citizens to get their recommended daily allowance of double downs.

    Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to clear this plan with noted health nut and totally not overweight Michelle Obama.

  5. Matt says:

    Shamus for POTUS!

    It has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?

  6. Let’s run John Wayne for POTUS. The fact that he is dead is perfect. Congree need only ask; “What would the Duke do in this situation” and act accoringly.

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