The black box from the Flying Nun has been recovered.  Sister Bertrille of the convent of San Tanco in Puerto Rico, commonly known as the “flying nun”  disappeared over the Atlantic Ocean while flying from Brazil to France.  Sister Bertrille had travelled to Brazil to take part in a conference of her order and from […]

With the American and Russian war machine closing in on Berlin and heroic socialist Adolph Hitler in hiding, Hollywood is making known where its sympathies lie.  A five minute film entitled “We are Adolph Hitler” is being released to theaters this week. “It’s important that this film be made” said MGM head Louis B. Mayer. […]

Larry Talbot was dismissed today from his job in the ad sales department of a publishing company. “We had no choice” said the company’s director of Human Resources.  “He was really starting to create a problem for us.” Things changed for Talbot, formerly considered a rising star in the company, shortly after he purchased a […]

Kim Kardashian, daughter of the man who helped O.J. Simpson get away with murder gave birth to a demon child in Los Angeles over the weekend. “The delivery was normal at first” said a nurse who was involved. But after the child was born it turned its head around, totally around, like 360 degrees around […]

In the week since the shocking disclosure that veteran actor Michael Douglas’ throat cancer was caused by oral sex the worldwide headquarters of Manhattan Infidel has been flooded.  Literally.  Damn kitchen sink.  I should call a plumber.  Anyway back to our topic today:  The stunning discovery that Catherine Zeta-Jones causes cancer.  I shall now try, […]

Beloved superhero Superman has turned seventy five.  I recently had the opportunity to sit down and talk with him on a wide range of subjects, including what it’s like to be a senior citizen. MI: Good afternoon Superman.  SM: What? MI: I said good afternoon. SM: Oh.  You’ll have to excuse me son.  I don’t hear […]

I have often had the chance to view celebrities up close and personal, whether they wanted to be observed or not.  And once again I would like to apologize to Olivia Wilde for showing up at her door 20 nights in a row pretending to be a pizza delivery boy.  I should have known that […]

Brainiac, the bald, green-skinned humanoid with city-shrinking powers has lost on Jeopardy, not even lasting until the Final Jeopardy round. “We were all surprised by this” said host Alex Trebek.  “You would think that someone named ‘Brainiac’ would, well, have more knowledge in his brain.” Brainiac was the heavy favorite to win but suffered irreversible […]

The world was saved from nuclear annihilation today after Skynet, the self-aware artificial intelligence system suffered a blue screen during its initial online testing. The full scale destruction of humanity caused by nuclear war which some punk kid named John Connor prophesied would happen should Skynet go online was avoided when every computer in the […]

Gunnery Sergeant Vince Carter of the United States Marines freely admits he is frustrated with the new breed of recruits. “I just don’t understand kids anymore” he said. I’ve been in the marines 16, or 18 or 19 years I don’t remember.  I’ve always been tough with my recruits.  And they respected me.  But the […]