Respected local citizen John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has announced that he is the victim of identity fraud. “I guess I should have been more careful on the internet” said Schmidt. The trouble for Jingleheimer Schmidt first started when SWAT team members burst down his door and threatened to shoot him unless he showed them where […]

Popular CBS news personality Julie Chen has revealed that early in her career she was the victim of blatant racism. “I was working in Dayton Ohio” said Chen. While Dayton is not New York at least I wasn’t working down south.  Anyway my boss at the station said that my Asian heritage was holding me […]

Local merchant Melvin Peebles was brutally murdered today by Magilla, the gorilla he kept in his display window. “It’s not like we didn’t see this coming” said the chief of police. Why he kept this gorilla in the display window was beyond belief.  True he did run a pet shop but poaching gorillas is kind […]

Pow, the long forgotten but some say most talented of the anthropomorphic breakfast cereal characters is suing his former partners for 25 percent of all their earnings. “I deserve it.  It’s mine” said the bitter Pow. Those three would be nothing without me.  I came up with the idea for our characters.  It was my […]

Santa Claus was killed today while testing his new Learjet sleigh. Santa took off from Orlando, Florida shortly before 9 am on a flight to Dallas, Texas.  On board with Santa were his agent and the two pilots. The last contact with Santa’s flight was at 9:27 am when the sleigh was instructed to climb […]

History’s greatest monster, George Zimmerman, was stopped  in Orlando, Florida and cited for speeding. “Sorry” said the unrepentant monster speedster to the officer who pulled him over. As to why Zimmerman felt he could go 60 miles per hour in a 45 mile per hour zone there is speculation that he will use the so-called […]

Zombies are much in the news lately with many TV shows and movies being built around them.  With that in mind today at Manhattan Infidel I am honored to snag an interview with a member of the community of the undead. MI:Welcome to my humble blog. Z: Thank you.  It’s a pleasure to be here. […]

Noted thespian Alec Baldwin engaged in a physical altercation with a photographer who took photos of him and his wife as they were strolling through Greenwich Village. The noted thespian, lover of peace and anti-war activist grabbed the offending photographer and pinned him against the hood of a car. Witnesses say that Baldwin “went beserk”  […]

Like most people I remember the exact moment I first heard that Ben Affleck had been chosen to play Batman.  I was discussing 19th century Russian literature negotiating a price with a female professional acquaintance prostitute.  As the police cornered the alley and started beating me discussing 19th Century Russian literature I heard one profess […]

Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge, chief engineer of the Starship Enterprise, has informed his friends that he has joined the dating service eHarmony. “Space is a very lonely place” La Forge said in an email to his colleagues. I crave human companionship.  I crave it.  A lot.  I mean, you can only stay up all […]