Mr. Peebles Killed By Magilla Gorilla

Sources say Magilla Gorilla was tired of being segregated in the display window

Sources say Magilla Gorilla was tired of being segregated in the display window

Local merchant Melvin Peebles was brutally murdered today by Magilla, the gorilla he kept in his display window.

“It’s not like we didn’t see this coming” said the chief of police.

Why he kept this gorilla in the display window was beyond belief.  True he did run a pet shop but poaching gorillas is kind of distasteful.  I thought we had moved beyond that sort of thing.

A rival pet store owner tells how Peebles was shunned by the others in the business.

He used to keep Magilla chained in the display window.  People would come in his shop and check Magilla’s teeth and ask Peebles how strong Magilla was.  Obviously they wanted to buy him and use him as a field hand.  I mean that sort of thing might have flown in our grandparent’s day but I’d like to think that as a people we’ve grown and matured.

Magilla himself had recently displayed impatience and anger over his status.

“One day I walked past the shop and Magilla was holding up a sign that said ‘No Justice No Peace.’ “ according to a town resident.

After attending a gorilla rights meeting uptown Magilla had become radicalized.

“I wanted to buy him” said one resident who prefers to remain anonymous.

So Mr. Peebles took me to the backroom where I could check out Magilla. He was a strong, masculine specimen.  I knew he would be a welcome addition to my bedroom.  But as I started to negotiate a price Magilla got all threatening.  He looked at me and said, “Chump ass cracker’s gonna get what chump ass cracker’s gonna get!”  Then he made a motion like he was cutting someone’s neck with a knife.  Well I cancelled the deal and got the hell out of there.  The last thing I want is an angry gorilla. What ever happened to the good old days when gorillas knew their place?

As times changed more gorillas gained their freedom.  Magilla would see free gorillas walking past the shop and he would feel shame.  He would often ask Mr. Peebles when he was going to give him his freedom, to which Peebles would always answer the same:  “Never!”

Finally unable to bear his captivity any longer, Magilla lashed out.  Tearing Peebles jaw off Magilla was captured on the store’s security camera taunting the pet store owner in his final moments of life.

“Who’s the monkey now Peebles?  Yeah, who’s the f*cking monkey now!”

Magilla then sprinted out the store and was last seen hailing a cab.

The chief of police has no doubt that he will be captured.

“Look, it’s not like I don’t have sympathy for Magilla but he’s a murderer.  He will be brought to justice.”

Police are asking anyone who has seen Magilla to contact them.


3 Responses

  1. Peebles made a common mistake. He should of had Magilla castrated when he was a more managable size. Peebles should have know that a full grown gorilla with all those macho whore-moans running through its veins can be dangerous.

  2. Matt says:

    At this rate, M.r Infidel, most cartoon characters will be dead by sometime in July 2015.

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