In a shocking turn of events advertising mascot Mr. Peanut was attacked and violated over the weekend. Around 10 pm on Saturday night Mr. Peanut, dressed in his trademark top hat, monocle and cane visited a popular gay bar and ordered a few drinks. Around midnight he was seen talking to a group dressed as bikers. The […]

Captain Ahab, commander of the Pequod has been ordered by the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service to “cease and desist” from hunting any more white whales. “We have contacted Captain Ahab” said the Service’s director, Daniel M. Ashe. And we have let him know that he has a responsibility to be a good steward of […]

Today at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ I have the honor of interviewing Hollywood actor Tim Daly. MI: Good afternoon Mr. Daly. TD: Please, call me Tim. MI: Alright Tim.  Let’s start by talking about your career. You’ve had a very successful career the past 30 years. TD: That’s not what I want to talk about. MI: Okay.  What […]

In what could have far-reaching repercussions for the mail order industry, Wile E. Coyote, resident of the American southwest is suing Acme corporation for “false and misleading advertising” that led to “pain and emotional duress.” In papers filed with the district court Mr. Coyote claims that Acme products consistently malfunctioned and did not provide the […]

With the centenary of Frank Sinatra’s birth fast approaching we here at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ (still proudly serving gluten) have thought it best to examine one of Mr. Sinatra’s most famous songs:  “Fly Me to the Moon.” To wit:  Are the events described in this song scientifically feasible? The song begins with […]

Popular advertising mascot Smokey the Bear and former NSYNC band member and current gay man Lance Bass have ended speculation that they are a couple by formally announcing their relationship. “I want to end the salacious media speculation” said Bass. Smokey and myself are indeed a couple. We love each other. He is my soul […]

Zeus, King of the Gods of Mt. Olympus and Lord of the Sky and Thunder is seeking to sell his kraken after having him neutered. “I thought it would make him more manageable” Zeus told his young assistant, Ganymede. I mean don’t get me wrong.  Certainly, in the topsy-turvy world of Mount Olympus, having a […]

Count Dracula, well-known and popular vampire of Transylvanian heritage, rumored to be descended from Attila the Hun and currently residing in Orlando, Florida, has been hit with a class action sexual harassment lawsuit from 30 women who claim that he preyed on them and promised them jobs. “I trusted him” said one woman involved in the […]

Ralphie Parker, a nine-year old boy who received from his parents for Christmas a Red Ryder carbine action 200 shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock and this thing which tells time, has been arrested for illegal possession of a firearm. “According to the laws of this state, a so-called BB […]

As everyone knows when the late Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon for the first time he said “That’s one small step for  man, one giant leap for mankind.”  But did you know that that wasn’t the first phrase Armstrong came up with? Being a bit of a history buff I was able to […]