After much legal wrangling, the John Edwards sex tape will be available for the first time in high definition.  Those who have seen the remastered sex tape say the difference between the original tape and the new high definition print are amazing. “I tell you,  while I enjoyed the sex tape” says a person who […]

As the Secret Service gently placed water wings on the commander-in-chief and lowered him into the shallow end of the White House swimming pool, President Obama talked about his 2011 budget.  The budget calls for 3.83 trillion in spending, creating a budget deficit of 1.56 trillion and giving the U.S. trillion dollar budget deficits for […]

Barack Obama, a local Chicago comedian hoping to break through nationally, performed in front of a packed house tonight in Washington DC. Mr. Obama appeared nervous and was clearly flustered when one of his first jokes about tax cuts did not get a response from the audience.  But Obama bravely moved on, kidding that “I […]

The 2010 census form features a word not commonly used since the 1960s:  Negro. “The word was placed in the census for inclusivosity….er, inclusivisitosity….um.  The Obama Administration is all about ALL the people and that’s why we included negro” said a census spokesperson. According to sources the primary reason for changing the census form was […]

John Kerry (above) talks to reporters State Senator Scott Brown defeated the political odds by winning the senate seat formerly held by Ted Kennedy.  Already the repercussions in the political world are huge.  Gone is the Democrat’s filibuster-proof majority and any hopes of passing the health care reform bill. Hours after the final results were […]

During a routine photo op at the White House today with the Girl Scouts, the Presidential Teleprompter malfunctioned, causing chaos, panic and severe embarrassment for the administration. The trouble started when President Obama was meeting with several girl scouts who had won awards for selling the most cookies.  Unbeknown to the President, his scheduled speech […]

A Toyota Prius packed with explosives driven by an apparent suicide bomber exploded in a crowded market today, killing 32 and more importantly doing extensive damage to a nearby tree.  The explosion occurred during the early afternoon as office workers enjoyed their lunches.  Witnesses say that a lovely, environmentally friendly Toyota Prius was driven into […]

Senator Harry Reid (D-Nevada) continues to fight for his political life after the eruption of a firestorm resulting from his controversial comments regarding C-3PO, and by extension, Droids in general. In the new book, “Game Change” by John Heilemann  and Mark Halperin, Reid is quoted as saying that C-3PO was his favorite Droid because he […]

Under increasing criticism for her department’s utter failure to stop the underwear bomber, Janet Napolitano has announced her resignation as Secretary of Homeland Security.  She will be replaced by the Klingon Worf, most recently Security Chief of the Starship Enterprise and Deep Space 9. “I have taken this position because you dishonorable humans are afraid […]

With the Senate’s passage of the Health Care Reform Bill and various stimulus packages, the U.S. National Debt is projected at 12 trillion dollars, rising to 20 trillion by 2019.  Many Americans are expressing unease about this.  “Is this unprecedented level of debt bad?”, “Will my taxes rise?” and “Why is CSI: Miami still on […]