A new study conducted under the auspices of NYU has found that an overwhelming majority of married men if forced to choose between listening to talk radio and spending quality time with their wives would choose talk radio. The study involved 35 married men between the ages of 24 ad 59.  Subjects were placed in […]

ESPN has announced that it will cover the Michael Jackson Memorial live on ESPN and ESPN2.  George Bodenheimer, President of ESPN Networks announced today that they will be covering it live. “We were reluctant at first.  But you have to admit, the man was a great ball handler!’ (152)

The anabolic steroid community was rocked today when it was learned that a popular steroid had trace amounts of Alex Rodriguez in his system. The headquarters of the Anabolic Steroid League on Park Avenue released a statement that said in part, “We are of course deeply shocked and saddened that one of our steroids has […]

Along 23rd Street at night Lights from the construction site 35 dollar shirts for 5 dollars nothing says white trash like a mullet (115)

A black bear currently residing in Montana is suing The Nature Channel for defamation of character. “They shot over 200 hours of me for their damn documentary and what do they show?  Just a couple shots of me in a stream tearing fish to shreds and eating them.  Those shots were taken way out of […]

Today a straight razor admitted that he is bi-curious. “I don’t know how long I’ve had these feelings” he admitted.  “All I know is I can no longer in good faith call myself a straight razor.” In a bizarre and hastily-called press conference the razor went into detail about his life and the many changes […]

Apple, following up on the success of its iPhone has introduced the iCondom.  In a heavily-attended press conference, Apple CEO Steve Jobs announced the latest revolutionary product. Holding the iCondom in his hand, Jobs told assembled reporters that the “iCondom will make life dramatically simpler and more enjoyable for people around the world.” “Everyone wants […]

When the Hubble Telescope was launched scientists hoped that it would be able to peer into the farthest reaches of space and make many discoveries.  But what Hubble has most recently found has astonished even the most jaded of scientists. Christopher Scolese, Associate Administrator of NASA said “We were hoping to find dark matter, strong […]

Today’s scheduled conflict management seminar has been cancelled due to the untimely hospitalization of its instructor as well as most of the class. The seminar was to have met at 6:00 PM when it was discovered that another group, “Citizens for Peaceful Coexistence” had also scheduled a meeting at the same time in the same […]